A new beginning
by assassi
Summary: SECOND SEQUEL for "To live again". As Izumo and Kotetsu's relationship progresses, certain questions that have never been discussed so far suddenly become issues. Such as marriage. And raising a child. YAOI, mild angst, family fic. FLUFF.
1. Chapter 1 The three years rule

**A.N.** So here is thebeginning ot the second sequel for "To live again" - if you haven't, please read it first, as well as "Unexpected visit". I hope you have fun with this story and don't forget to review :)

Chapter 1 – The three years rule

Kotetsu POV

Damn, we're late again. And I know I shouldn't have been late today. What was it again…?

It's so stupid that they make us wear masks even when we're just us, ANBU, no enemy anywhere around. They also forbid us to talk while we wear the masks. And what for? I know Anko wears the Snake mask – seriously, can it be more obvious?! Asuma, the big guy, is Bear. Tsume is Hound, also obvious. The fastest and the one with the sharpest eyesight – Gai, is Falcon, of course. Kakashi is Wolf. Hm. His mask and mine are a bit of a mystery, I suppose, as in why they chose them for us.

Even the boss was with us today – I smirked, watching Lynx jumping from one tree branch to the next; they should have known Genma would never sit behind the desk like they expected him to. And then I frowned, noticing a slight twitch of his left leg. And I wanted to ask Genma if he was okay or if we should stop for a bit so he could rest, maybe bandage that leg…

But we had to be back sooner. It was an important day, today. But why…?

I showered quickly, tired and only dreaming for my bed. Our bed. Damn. I was aware he'd gone to bed by now – it was way after midnight.

I stepped quietly into the dark apartment, toeing off my shoes and creeping towards the bedroom. Something caught my eye and I frowned, turning and making my way into the kitchen instead. Only to freeze at the door, as if hit with a brick.

The table was set for a romantic dinner, the two tall red candles half melted. Most of the food had been taken away. A simple note said: "There's food in the microwave. Heat it and eat. Happy anniversary."

…Fuck.

* * *

He barely stirred when I climbed carefully into the bed. I knew he was awake, but he didn't say a word. Damn, he was mad at me then. I crawled closer to him and hesitantly hugged him, spooning him. He allowed that. Good. Good sign.

Silence.

"You okay?", he muttered.

"Yes."

"Everyone else okay?"

"Yes."

"Uhm. Good."

"Izumo…"

"Sleep now."

…Double fuck.

* * *

He was still a bit cold in the morning, allowing a kiss, but never initiating one. I sighed, but said nothing – I knew I was guilty. I wanted to kick my ass. I should have put a huge sign on my desk calendar, saying "Stay the fuck at home on this day!"

He ate his breakfast and fled, muttering something about training days. I sighed again, hitting my head in the door frame. Repeatedly.

* * *

I got back earlier that evening and went straight in the kitchen. I was gonna pay him back for last night. His favorite stew… and that honey cakes his mother taught me how to prepare… No, I only have two hours… Damn. Ice cream it is then. What was his favorite flavor? Dark chocolate and red rum. Yes. What was the name of that store that made home deliveries…?

* * *

He got back four hours later, muttered a "hi" and collapsed in the bed.

WHAT THE FUCK, YOU SON OF A BITCH!? (no, wait, I do respect your mother) YOU PUNK! I COOKED THIS FUCKING MEAL FOR TWO HOURS AND WAITED FOR YOU FOR TWO MORE! GET BACK HERE AND FUCKING EAT!

…Wait. That's how he must have felt last night, huh? Plus the anniversary… damn.

I sighed and went to lie next to him in the bed.

He was already snoring.

* * *

I woke up around midnight from a yet another wet dream. I'd stopped wondering how was it possible that I still had them; usually I just waked the main character and made him perform in the real life.

I shook his shoulder. "Baby…"

I was not whining. It is a seductive drawl. Yes.

"Mmmm…", he muttered, sounding not very pleased.

"Babe… come on…"

"Mmm… tired. Sleep now…."

I groaned, not just a bit enraged and rolled on my other side, turning my back to him.

Fine, I made a mistake! So what now, no sex for a week?!

* * *

No. Sex. For a week.

DAMN HIM!

* * *

"Izumo, come oooon! Come on, baby, I apologized, cooked your favorite stew, cleaned the fucking bathroom…!"

"I'm not mad at you. Anymore. Was. On that first night. _That_ night. Since then I'm just tired", shrug.

"What, _all the time_?!"

He glared.

Fuck. So, another sexless week…

* * *

"Izumo. Baby. Owner Of My Heart (and those damned tight black boxers). PLEASE!"

"Huh?"

"I beg thee, my boyfriend, for sex! How much more embarrassing could this be?!"

"…I'm tired."

Oh. _That_ much more embarrassing.

* * *

"I don't fucking know what he wants, Gen, I apologized, begged him even…!"

"Ah well, you know what they say - love only lasts for three years", he winked, patting my back.

What. No, wait, WHAT! That night, _that_ night, our anniversary… had it been…?! One, if you count since we moved in together, two… Three. Three years.

Fuck.

Iruka, who was passing by and had heard only the last part of Genma's words, shook his head and patted my back soothingly.

"That is not true. He's only teasing you", Iruka shot a glare at Genma, who mouthed a "Whaat?" with an innocent face.

* * *

He refused sex that night too. As in, again. Damn it!

When I got to work on the next day an article from a magazine awaited me on my desk_. "The three years rule"_ the title said. My eyes scanned it, stopping on single parts.

_ "…I thought the 3 years rule was a pretty standard maximum legal limit for relationships…"_

_"…that most relationship face their biggest problems at the three year…"_

_"… is usually the year when most relationships are ended…"_

_"…most of the breakups…"_

_ "…I believe that relationships should not go past three years without an engagement, talk of marriage…"_

My mother's words were suddenly repeated in my head: _"Kotetsu. Listen to a mother, who wants the best for her child. Marry this man."_

I crushed the cutting to a ball. Genma's leering face was not what I needed to see just now…

* * *

"They said you've tried to kill your boss…", Bens drawled.

I huffed indifferently. Bens lifted a sheet of paper and read out loud.

"_Tripped Shiranui Genma, Head Commander of Police Station 7's ANBU unit, got on top of the fallen Commander and tried to stuff a paper ball into said Commander's mouth._"

"I did not try. … I succeeded."

She smirked a little at that but became serious almost immediately. "Kotetsu. What is this all about?"

"…an article. Relationship… article."

"…What?!"

And that's when I lost it.

"He fuckin' laughed at me! Shiranui-Fucking-Genma laughed at me, cuz my man doesn't want me anymore!"

"What the…?! Kotetsu! Get back here!"

I slammed the door shut behind me.

**A.N.** Now before you say all Kotetsu thinks about is sex, please wait till around chapter 4 ;)


	2. Chapter 2 The fire

**A.N.** So here it is, chapter 2 :) If you really like where/how the story is going, be nice and inspire my muse however you see fit. Like certain **Kinkylittlewolf** (babe, the song chapter is gonna be awesome!) Also, chapter 4 turned out to be... very intense 0.0 so hold your breath. And review to make me write and post more regularly ;D

Chapter 2 – The fire

Izumo POV

I looked up the stairs, stifling a pitiful whine. 145 stairs. Damn. I wanted to cry.

I was just… so tired.

Training days. I hope whoever invented them burns in hell! Two weeks, every single year, devoted to intensive training, fulfilling norms as if we were back in the Academy, in order to "keep the policemen of Konoha fit and capable of protecting the citizens." What a load of bullshit! ANBUs don't do that.

As a matter of fact I knew a certain ANBU who probably rested in the couch up there and waited for me to come back. I sighed. If he asked, again, for us to have sex… I mean, come ooon! Can't he see the condition I am in?! I can barely walk, all but crawl up these stairs and the man demands sex! HOW?!

I unlocked the door, crept in… Jash almost pushed me to the floor as he came to me, waving his tail happily.

"Hey, buddy… Can't play now… Go to Kotetsu. Is he home? Hm? Let's check…"

It was quiet. He was nowhere in sight.

"Kotetsu?", I called just in case.

No response. Jash's bows for water and food were full – so, he'd come home at some point, not long ago. That's when I saw the note on the table.

_"Gone to train. Won't come home tonight. Ravioli – in the oven."_

It wasn't signed. No _"Love, K."_, no anything. I frowned. What, he was mad _at me_ now?!

Fuck it.

I pulled out the ravioli from the oven and my heart did a funny little twist. It was one of my favorite dishes from the ones he made – he added just the right amount of tomato sauce and spices, just the way I liked it. Still feeling that strange heart-twist, I sat at the table and began eating in silence.

* * *

"Come on, pussies, faster! What's that, Suzuki?!Can't run any faster?!"

"I… trauma…", Reiji panted.

"Well then quit your job and find something else! Being a cop ain't a job for cripples!"

Examiner Sato. Kami, I wanted to wring his neck! Comes here once a year, an ex ANBU, so old he could be our grandpa, and treats us like a commander, some damned general of his own army or a sensei from the Police Academy! Hell, my sensei-s there weren't half that bad! Hello?! You are RETIRED, you son of a bitch! No longer ANBU! Fucking loser…

"Umino! You have a stick up your ass or what?! Had a rough night with ya'r man?! Get up! UP!"

Iruka, always-nice-to-everyone Iruka, blushed heavily, humiliated, looking down. All of us glared poisonously at Sato.

"Kamizuki!"

Don't start with me, old man…!

The doors burst open; cap. Namiashi took one look at us and frowned.

"What the hell…", he grumbled. He shot a glare at Sato as well, then turned back to us and yelled, "Those, who can stand on their feet – there's a fire at the orphanage. Go help the colleagues from the Fire brigade!"

All of us walked towards the door; Namiashi stopped those who were half-collapsed. In the end only me, Shikaku (he was a tough one, lazy as he seemed), Kisame, Itachi and the new guy, Hayate, passed his inspection. Hayate, huh? I secretly rose an eyebrow. Kid looked always sick. But he was a fighter, I'd learned.

We jumped in the cars and drove off at full speed.

By the time when we arrived… it wasn't a fire. It was an inferno. A small hell.

There were children on the street, their faces and clothes covered in soot; most of them were crying. The staff of the orphanage was trying to calm them down, while panicky counting the kids. The director, a middle aged woman, was trying to break free from a fireman's grip and go back inside the burning building.

"Please, there should be ten more kids…!", she was crying.

"Madam, some of our men are still inside, they are already giving their all to help the kids!"

More firemen exited the building; only three were carrying children. They put them down and removed their masks.

"We ran out of oxygen", one of them panted, removing the heavy equipment. "Inoue is still inside…"

"They said they'd bring more oxygen in a few minutes", another man said.

Minutes… it was a matter of seconds for these seven remaining kids!

"I'm going in", I said.

"Coming", Kisame nodded, followed by Itachi and the others.

"Are you crazy!? Drop the hero act and stay here!", one of the firemen barked.

We didn't even hear him out, running into the flames.

Once inside, we split. I took the half-collapsed staircase, aware that I might not find it on my way out. The second floor was even worse than the first. There was not a single area that wasn't covered in flames. It was like the fire had a mind and soul of its own and was raging, hungrily consuming the building.

I'd only made a few steps when I found out why that _Inoue_ guy was taking that long – the fireman was trapped under a fallen beam. I quickly took of my jacket, wrapping it around the not burning, but highly heated beam, trying to remove it. It took some time, growling, cursing, me pulling and him pushing, but we finally moved the heavy thing away. I held out a hand.

"Come on! Can you stand?"

He could and did. He nodded his thanks and we proceeded ahead. He saw the first kid just a few steps down the hall – a small boy, barely around four, crying in the corner or a burning room. Inoue stepped through the flames in his fireproof clothes and took the little guy in his arms. I was just thinking of taking a last quick look around when a small hand grabbed my sleeve. I turned around only to see two huge brown eyes, crying, staring at me above Inoue's shoulder.

"Hajime", the boy sobbed. "Please… Hajime…"

His chubby hand lifted again and a finger pointed at the direction "Hajime" was supposed to be. Inoue and I exchanged a look.

"I got it", I said firmly, wishing he'd just get out with this little fellow.

He hesitated for a second, but then just nodded and took off.

I ran down the hall, yelling the name I'd been given… all the time trying to suppress the small voice in my head telling me that even if Hajime'd been alive till now, he'd certainly have choked with the smoke. Hell, I was coughing like mad, my eyes had tears in them… but I kept running, yelling his name, almost choking, but every time just telling myself "just a few more seconds… just once more…"

"Hajime!"

"…Here!"

I turned around. He was in the corner or a burnt down room, trapped by fallen burning beams. Tears ran down his face, but he wasn't sobbing. He wasn't panicked, like a boy his age – around five, should be. He just stood there, ready to face his destiny. When he saw me, his face brightened a bit, but then he looked at the burning beams, as if silently saying, "It's all the same; I couldn't jump over them, how would you?"

Well, kid, my legs are longer than yours. I took of my jumper and threw it over the beams, then quickly jumped over, grabbed him and ran just in time before some more beams fell down right where we'd stood. I held him tighter and ran down the hall.

Of course, the staircase was gone.

"Fuck!"

He gasped quietly and I'd have slapped myself for cursing in front of a child if it wasn't for the inferno all around us. I'd apologize later, now let's just save him first.

I ran to the first window I saw and glanced down. They were all there, policemen, firemen and staff and kids and Kurenai (Kurenai?), but they were looking in the wrong direction.

"Hey!", I yelled, choking a bit. "HEY!"

Kisame, all covered in soot like rest of them, looked up.

"There!". He yelled as they all moved under our window.

"Some help please?!", I yelled back, exasperated.

They finally got it and spread out one of those firemen's trampolines under us. Hajime whimpered.

"It's okay, buddy, I've got you. I won't let go of you, Hajime, I promise; but we gotta jump, okay? There's just no other way out."

He just nodded, hid his face in my neck and held on tighter; he was trembling, but he braced himself.

I took a deep breath a jumped.

We bounced a little, which was awkward since I still held him, like I'd promised to. I heard him half-sighing, half-sobbing; for a second there he just snuggled closer to me.

Snuggled.

Oh.

"Hajime!"

The director of the orphanage grabbed him and hugged him, relieved tears running down her face.

"Keita?", he asked quietly, hopefully. The boy with the huge brown eyes Inoue had saved suddenly launched in Hajime's arms, crying. The director smiled through her tears.

"He told us everything, Hajime; how you pushed him away just before the roof collapsed. You saved his life…"

That's why he was trapped…

Strong arms grabbed me, turned me around and Kotetsu's wild eyes stared at mine.

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING!? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?! FUCKING… GOING ALL HERO… YOU STUPID BASTARD!.!.!", he barely choked before crushing me into his hard body, a painful hug, revealing just how worried-outta-his-mind he'd been for me. Again. A twinge of guilt, and something more I couldn't quite name made my heart skip a few beats as I returned the painful hug.

Over his shoulder I could see Hajime being embraced by all the kids and the staff as well. But he was looking right back at me.


	3. Chapter 3 Hajime

A.N. Here you are, chapter 3. Do feed your beloved author with some good reviews :)

Chapter 3 – Hajime*

**Kotetsu POV**

Reiji called me the minute Izumo had ran off to that burning building. Needless to say, I dropped all training and jumped on my motorbike, heading there as well.

The sight that greeted me will probably haunt me in my nightmares for a while. There wasn't much left from the orphanage. And they told me he and some other guy were still inside.

Damn my luck, of course I'd hook up with a guy with a hero complex!

They had to hold me back as brick by brick the building was going down and the man I loved was still nowhere in sight. The other guy came out… still no sight of Izumo. I was slowly going mad there and…

Finally a shout drew our attention and we all looked up. He was holding a kid close to his chest, both of them covered in soot, so black that only the white of their eyes indicated where their faces were. The firemen stretched out the trampoline; I saw Izumo talking to the kid, calming him down, encouraging him… then they jumped. Once they were down the women from the orphanage grabbed the kid, crying from joy that he was alive.

Alive, thanks to the man, my man, who was just standing there in only a once-white T-shirt with burnt holes in it, sweaty, dirty and generally looking like nothing had just happened.

The moment they were down I was next to him, grabbing him, crushing him next to me. I was yelling, shouting something at him, I was angry that he had risked his life, once again, and relieved, _so fucking relieved _that he was _alive_ and I was able to hold him and shout to him.

He was just staring at the kid with a strange, thoughtful expression.

We were silent on the way home. Once we stepped inside the apartment I took hold of his hand and led him towards the bathroom. I started filling up the bathtub, undressing him while we waited.

"I can do it myself-…", he started, but I held up a hand.

"Please. Let me. I need…", "_to see for myself that you are okay, not hurt, not bleeding…"_

He just nodded. He understood. He knew.

He stepped in the bathtub, letting me rinse his body, slowly and carefully with a soft washcloth. The water slowly turned ashen.

"Hey… what was Kurenai doing there?", he asked absentmindedly.

"She's Fire brigade № 7's boss now", I muttered.

"And her kid…?"

"He's almost three years old, Izumo. He goes to the kindergarten?"

"Oh…", he murmured.

Some time passed in silence.

"It must be awful", he said suddenly.

"Hm?", I muttered.

"Having no one in this world; having been … left; raised in such a grey old building. And one day, even that is being taken away from you. The only home you've ever known…", he said quietly.

I didn't know what to say. I said nothing.

"I can't even imagine what it's like to grow up at such a place…", he said again.

"Iruka has adopted Naruto from a place like this", I mentioned.

"Oh?", he said, sounding more thoughtful than surprised. "Adopted…"

"…Yeah?"

He shook his head. "Nothing."

We finished bathing him, then drained the tub and went to the bedroom. We laid in the bed; he immediately turned on his side. Hesitating for just a moment, I crawled behind him, pulling his body flush to mine. He tensed.

"I'm…", he started.

"I'm not asking you for sex. I just need to hold you tonight. Nothing else, just…"

"Okay… okay. I'm sorry…"

I didn't ask him what for. I just didn't have the strength for more questions or fights.

"Good night", I just said, barely registering his reply.

* * *

**Izumo POV**

Kotetsu's breathing slowly evened out as he fell asleep. I stayed awake long after that; a thought that had suddenly occurred to me back in the bathroom wasn't giving me peace.

Adoption.

Was it even… an option, for us? With our past… wasn't that asking too much from him?

What's more… was I ready? To take responsibility as huge as taking care of a child, raising him, bringing him up…

…Him?

Was I already thinking of a certain child? Not _a_ child, but _the_ child from tonight? Hajime…

Hajime…

Beginning.

Was I ready for a new beginning? Was Kotetsu?

Were… we?

* * *

They gave the children and the staff from the orphanage an old, temporary building to use until a new one, more proper one, was built for them. I found myself standing in front of said temporary place on the very next day, uncertain of why I was there. They were grieving – despite all efforts, they had lost three children in the fire. It was the most improper time for a hesitant fool to pay them a visit he could not explain even to himself.

"Officer…?", a gentle voice said.

I turned around. The director of the orphanage was walking towards me, a pile of documents in her hands. I sighed mentally – even as the staff was grieving, the bureaucracy didn't take a break.

I shook my head, realizing she had politely asked for my name.

"Kamizuki. Kamizuki Izumo", I said. She forced an almost real smile.

"I'm glad to see you're okay. We are very grateful for your help", she said quietly.

I just nodded dumbly, looking away. "And… how… how is he? Hajime…"

"He's… okay", she smiled, a bit more naturally. "Or should I say, he tries to put on a strong face… though I know he'll probably have nightmares for months… like all of them. But he's a brave little boy."

"Has he no parents?", I blurted out.

Her face saddened again as she shook her head. "He was left at our doors as a baby. He's never known his biological parents and we don't know of any relatives either."

I nodded again, even though my chest felt both heavy and hollow.

"Do you want to see him?"

My head shot up, my eyes widened… my brain obviously suffered a short circuit.

"No, no…! I'll… come by… another time."

She smiled knowingly. "Whenever you are ready, officer."

* * *

"Another time" was the very next day. I stayed in my car, watching the kids playing in the backyard like some damned low-life. Or a coward. I couldn't… I didn't have the courage to step out of the car, go to him, talk to him…get to know him… protect him, raise him…

Shut up! Just… shut up…

Hajime was playing alone – he held a car toy ( a sports car, I noticed) and "drove it" on the short stone wall, separating the playing ground from the street. Now that he wasn't covered in soot I could actually see his face features – he had pale hair, something between dark blond and pale brown, pale skin… he was looking down however and I couldn't see the color of his eyes. He seemed to be a quiet kid.

A loner.

My chest tightened again with an emotion I couldn't explain.

* * *

On the third day I finally managed to get out of the car and make the few steps across the street to the playing ground. The director, standing by, smirked.

"Ready now?", she half-asked, half-teased.

I just nodded curtly, walking over to Hajime, who played in the sandbox today. He looked up as I sat next to him and my eyes widened; I may have even gasped. He had the most amazing eye-color. Or should I say eye-colors – his eyes were mostly green, but had a few brown spots, a few golden dots, even some violet specks.

"Hi", I said dumbly.

"Hello", he said. His voice was child-like clear, not timid like I had expected. I smiled.

"I don't know if you remember me but…"

"I remember you", he said quickly. "Thank you for saving me."

I nodded, a bit taken aback from his bluntness. "You're welcome."

I looked down at his shabby sandy artwork. "What are you building?"

"A castle", he said.

"Yeah? Who lives there?"

He looked at me like I was stupid. "Ants? Worms?"

I chuckled. "Sorry. You're not a small kid, I get it."

He puffed up his chest and I stifled another chuckle. Then I looked around.

"Why aren't you playing with the others? Or why don't they help you with the castle?"

He shrugged. "They like to play other games. Fairy-tale games."

I nodded again. "Well, I've always liked the sandbox. Want some help with that castle?"

He blushed a bit but tried to cover his enthusiasm. "Sure", he just said.

We must have stayed there, having an easy small talk, for nearly an hour. Finally a woman came out to call the kids for dinner and I said goodbye to Hajime and prepared to leave. Another kid bumped into me as he rushed to get inside.

"Sorry, mister!"

"Yeah… Hey!"

The boy turned around.

"What were you guys playing?"

The boy grinned. "'Family'!", he exclaimed, running back into the orphanage.

My heart sank again. _"Fairy-tale games…"_

* * *

"Here, I brought you something."

Hajime looked up and his face brightened as he saw the sandbox toys. "For me?!"

I smiled, even though my heart gave one of its already familiar little twists. "For you."

"Thank you, officer!"

I winced. "Izumo, okay? Please?"

He grinned. "Izumo-san."

I made a face, but then shrugged. It was still better.

He immediately unwrapped the mesh bag and tried to use all the toys at once. It was funny, endearing and a little sad all at once.

"Hajime… why do you think 'Family' is a fairy-tale game?"

His face fell a little. He shrugged. "In fairy-tales, all the kids have families. But it's only a fairy-tale. A book with pictures."

He was only five years old. How could he possibly think like that?!

"Don't you believe… don't you think that someday a family will come for you too?"

Another shrug. "I'm not a small kid, Izumo-san…"

_"Yes, you are!", _I thought.

"…I don't believe in fairy-tales."

My heart sank again. I was beginning to get used to it.

**A.N.** For those who don't know (or haven't gathered as much in the context) – Hajime means beginning, hence the name of the story ;)


	4. Chapter 4 Sore subject(s)

**A.N.** Here's the promised intense chapter. If you ask me (:D) it has everything - some angst, some fluff, some HOT smut (the WHOLE scene is already on AFF, see my profile here for more details )) For Serani and all other FLUFF lovers - you know what comes after my angsty chapters, so do not whine :P

Chapter 4 – Sore subject(s)

**Izumo POV**

"I was wondering when you'd come…"

Bens' knowing smirk met me when I finally accepted that I needed her help.

I'd spend the three weeks after the fire slowly going crazy. The questions I had asked myself that night – were we ready for such a big step as adoption, was it even possible for us – had only began to pop in my head more and more often as I was getting to know Hajime better.

"So did you guys talk? Or least tried and it didn't work out so you came here today?"

I blinked stupidly, then frowned. "Huh?"

It was her turn to frown. "Didn't you talk with Kotetsu?"

"About… what?", I asked suspiciously – I'd have to talk to him about Hajime, sure, but she wasn't supposed to know that yet.

"Oh. Oh, fuck." Bens looked guilty, like she'd just spewed something she wasn't supposed to tell me, but she quickly waved it off and grinned brightly. "Anyway. What did you want to talk about?"

"Benihime," she flinched, "What is going on here?", I asked with deceitfully calm voice.

She sighed. "Nothing, just… Ok, so, Kotetsu was here a few days ago and he was a bit frustrated, but instead of acting almightily like I always know everything, and like I'm always right, and like of course you came here today so we could discuss your relationship, I should have just let you guys talk it through…"

"Wait, wait. Kotetsu was here, frustrated over something in our relationship?"

She cursed quietly; then looked at me straight in the eyes. "Look, just go find him and talk to him…"

That's exactly what I intended to do!

I stormed out of her office, fuming. He'd done it again! He hadn't even told me, or shown me, that something was bothering him about us, this relationship we were in; he just _never talked_! TO ME! But sure, why not go whine to Bens instead!? I was the one concerned! ME! COME TALK _TO ME_ WHEN SOMETHING IS WRONG, IDIOT!.!.!

I burst in ANBU's room, saw him immediately of course(talking with Tsume about dogs), grabbed his hand and dragged him out.

"What the hell…!? HEY!" He pulled back his arm, but I didn't let go; we both knew that he could get free if he only wanted to put up a real fight – he just wasn't that angry yet.

Parading through the whole station, I finally reached Bens' office again, burst back in, half-dragging and then half-pushing him in as well. Kotetsu bristled.

"What the fuck is your problem?!", he yelled.

"MY problem?! What the hell is wrong with YOU that you can't come to ME first when something in OUR relationship bothers you, but I find that out from the shrink instead!?"

"Hey now…", Bens muttered. Kotetsu glared at her, she blushed and didn't dare rebelling more about being called "the shrink".

"I didn't come to you first, you say? I didn't?! I asked you! So many times and you always ignored and denied me…"

"Is sex all you could think about!? I was TIRED, damn it, I couldn't do it even if I were in the mood!"

"It was not only about sex, and you know it! I made your favorite stew…!"

"As a prelude to sex!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"Well, obviously not and that's the whole problem for you!"

"Wait, Izumo, I think I get what he means…", Bens interjected, her eyes narrowed in Kotetsu's direction; she spoke to _him_ then. "For you, sex is a means… to get emotionally closer with the one you love. Expressing yourself by talking has always been hard for you, so that's simply… your way. You use your body to tell the other, Izumo, that you love him and need him."

Kotetsu flushed and turned his back on us, staring through the window.

I was dumbfounded, I admit. Such a thing… sounded so… Neanderthal …and so possibly like him… and yet…

"Is that right, Kotetsu?", I demanded. "Say it!"

He flinched. His shoulders slumped. In moments like these, when he needed to make an emotional confession, you could see it most clearly, the fact that he'd been raised in Suna – he simply didn't know how to handle certain emotions.

"If it'd been just a… sexual release I was seeking… I could have damn well used my own hand."

"So Bens is right and you only needed to feel closer to me, emotionally?", I heard the suspicion in my own voice but the whole idea still sounded so infantile…

Kotetsu shrugged a little, still refusing to turn around. "After the anniversary fail… you were so cold…"

"I was TIRED! I TOLD you!", I was beginning to get exasperated again.

He shrugged again. "I thought that was your way of telling me you didn't want to…. Didn't want _me_. Anymore."

I sighed in frustration.

"Look at me," I said. It took him a second, but he did turn around. I stepped closer then and lifted up my hands, my palms resting on his cheeks. "I forgave you for the anniversary on that very same night. Sure I was mad, and you did screw up, but it's in the past now."

I held back a lopsided smirk at how familiar those last words sounded; only it was usually him who said them.

"About the other thing… It wasn't like I didn't want to; I promise you. I just physically couldn't, understand it! I told you about the training days – did you even hear me?" He flushed again, making it obvious he hadn't. I smiled, expecting it – he tended to not hear things when he was frustrated. "But the training is over now, and you haven't been asking recently and you were acting cold, as if I'd offended you by denying you and I didn't bring the matter up."

"I thought…", he began. I put a finger over his lips.

"I know. And it's not true. Listen to me now and remember it – I want you. Always. Even when I can't." He was blushing and looking at the floor now, like he usually did when confessions became involved. I smiled again, feeling lighter than I had felt in weeks. "Are we okay now?" He nodded, still looking down. "Let's go home then."

I looked up just in time to see Bens grinning like a loon. Or should I say, like a fan girl. We should have seen it coming – with so many gay couples on her head…

"Do not squeal!", I warned her.

She just nodded dutifully, not being able to make any other sound at the moment.

* * *

"Do you remember our first time… _My_ first time…?", his lips ghosted around my ear; we'd just gotten back home and he had me pinned to the wall of the hallway.

And how could I ever forget it? His first time on the bottom…

We'd agreed that when the time comes, he'd just tell me that he's ready; surprises and sudden attacks were not welcomed, understandably. And then one day I'd gotten back home from work; it had been a Monday. There were candles lit in the hallway… more of them leading to the bedroom… the whole bedroom itself was glowing with their soft light. He had been laying in the middle of the bed, seductively sprawled – his hands gripped the pillow on both sides of his head, not with fear but rather suggestively; his legs were slightly parted but a cream colored satin sheet covered his groin. He always said that my six pack turned him on the most, but his was not any less mouth watering. And his toned abs were glistening on the soft light, his nipples were hard, his lips were parted… He'd said only one thing.

"I'm ready."

Kami, I still have wet dreams about that night.

Contrary to what I had feared could happen, he wasn't pushing himself. He only demanded two things: that I go in slowly and that he could see my face all the time.

And then we'd taken the time to prepare him – nice and slow and gently. He'd moaned and looked at me the whole time… even as I'd entered him; slowly, watching his face for any signs of pain. His eyes had fluttered closed a few times, but he'd fought to open them again and just look at me. And I was talking to him, whispering calming little nothings, telling him how brave he was, how strong and amazing and hot and tight and everything I'd ever wanted…

He'd smiled, telling me I was a fool, and that I should move already.

And then it had been all slick, gentle movement and clenching and soft moans and gripping hands… at some point it had turned into rasps, grunts and small, muffled cries and long scratches on my back and even my ass… The look on his face… his ever changing expressions, showing his emotions he just couldn't hold back and didn't even try, because it was me who was causing them, me, who he showed and gave everything… his mouth, hanging open… his eyes, sometimes losing the battle to stay open… his eyebrows, with their inner sides lifted up in a desperate expression… The way his eyes had opened wide, comically, and he had cried out, shouted in shock when I'd first hit his prostrate… His fingernails leaving deep, bloody cuts in my shoulder blades as he cried, yelled and clenched even tighter and came in my hand, pulling me, so hard, along….

Oh, yes, I remember it all.

But most of all, I remember the way I'd collapsed on top of him, boneless, and just listened to his shaky, stuttering breaths. Once again, like so many other times at other occasions, we hadn't needed words to express how amazing it had been. Or that it would happen again. We'd just known all that.

Much later I'd asked him what had made him decide that we do it, _that way_, on Monday. He'd smirked and told me he'd known I'd be good when I do it properly, and he'd wanted to have at least one nice association with Mondays.

Shaking off the memories now (and wondering what had brought them up) I nodded, whispering in his lips. "Of course I remember."

He slowly moved back, took my hand and silently led me to our bedroom. Then he just laid in the middle of the bed, like that time, and parted his clothed legs slightly; suggestively.

Oh.

I mean… Sure we switched the roles and he let me top often enough, but now it had been some time since we'd last done it, at all, and I knew that when that happened he liked to be on top when the dry period was over. I was surprised… but I wouldn't let the opportunity slip away.

Crawling on the bed between his legs, I started tugging off his shirt, feeling like a teenager again; he sat up a bit and started tugging at mine. It took us some time and struggling, but we were finally both naked above the waist. My fingers traced his pecks and abs, enjoying the sight and the feel of them clenching under my touch.

"I love your skin", I blurted out, feeling stupid for having said that. His skin was well-tanned, darker than mine, but not too much – just a nice, healthy color. His ANBU toned muscles never failed to turn me on; not only the sight of them, but the knowledge that he was strong enough to hold me and loved me enough to leave all that power, _his power_, _himself_, in my hands in moments like this.

He smirked, but didn't comment anything, just laid down, looking at me expectantly. I swallowed dryly and concentrated on removing his jeans.

"How do you want it today?", I asked.

He usually liked it slow and gentle, but sometimes, after a long, nerve-wrecking mission, he demanded a bit more fast and rough sex, even if he was bottoming.

"Slowly", he said now, making me smile. We both knew I'd always give it to him the way he likes it, but I myself liked to make love to him just the way he now wanted me to.

And then we were finally both naked and our movements followed pretty much the scenario from that first time, his first time. We followed the steps of preparation unhurriedly, stealing a kiss or a teasing lick of a nipple, a bite on the side of one's neck.

If nothing else, sex with Kotetsu had taught me about real foreplay; the time when your whole self is focused on pleasing the other, bringing him closer to the edge, but never quite over it, yet. I knew all his weak spots. He had very sensitive ears; he could come just from the feeling of a lick or even a whisper of a breath when he was close enough. He loved it when I bit at his Adam's apple; kinky as he was about vampires, he loved it when I bit him _anywhere_, but his neck, wrists and hipbones were his favorites.

„Zumo… come on already…"

I smirked, kissing his pecks.

"What was that?"

He groaned. "…Please", he whispered.

"Hm? I can't quite hear you."

**-censored part. UNedited version - at my AdultFanFiction profile. Info - in my profile here-**

My foggy mind registered the moment he collapsed on top of me; my ears noted his erratic breathing, in the hollow of my neck; his heart beat wildly right next to my own. My arms seemed to weigh a ton as I lifted them to embrace him, enjoying the quick lifting of his ribcage and the moving of the muscles on his back.

When our breaths evened I slipped out carefully (he bit back a hiss) and gathered him in my arms; he rubbed his face to my chest and I felt he was getting ready to fall asleep. My body was tired, but my mind was still wide awake, drifting…

"I wonder how parents do it when their kid sleeps a few rooms away…?", I muttered to myself.

"…Huh?!", Kotetsu muttered, not that sleepy as I'd assumed.

Oh. Oh, shit!

I tensed. "I-I mean…h-haven't you ever wondered how it would be… if we had a child?"

"Eer… no? Cuz we kinda have no chance of accidentally making a baby?"

I swallowed dryly, closed my eyes, gathered some courage…

"H-How about… adoption?"

Pause. Then, a very serious "What?"

I gulped. "Haven't you at least… considered it?"

"No", he said firmly.

Okay, Izumo, you got that far, just go ahead…

"And… would you? Now? With… me?"

"No."

Something stabbed me in the heart. Hard.

"I see."

I stood up and started gathering my clothes. I'd been so stupid; believing we were moving on, making progress, finally having something real, with equal rights, passion and deeper feelings, something strong and able to endure and proceed... further. I stupidly assumed that if he allowed me inside him, and made it look like he really enjoyed it and had freed himself of memories and past, he had… what? Forgotten and forgiven said memories; said past? Ha!

A family?

What a stupid dream!

Stupid, stupid!

A was still his violator; even after those years, living together, sleeping together. Even now. Of course he'd never want to raise a child with the man who'd done such an unspeakable thing to him!

"Where are you going?", he asked, alarmed.

Or maybe I just wanted to believe that he was alarmed; that he gave a damn.

"I don't know… somewhere. I need some time."

"Izumo…!"

I shut the door behind me.


	5. Chapter 5 His real issues

**A.N.** Due to the serious lack of reviews for the last chapter, I've taken into serious consideration the idea of making a new rule: NO UPDATE till at least 4 DIFFERENT ppl review. How about that, huh?! My PMS aside, seriously guys - it takes a minute to make an author happy...

Chapter 5 – His real issues

**Kotetsu POV**

I blinked stupidly, left alone, naked and dirty, in the semi-darkness of our bedroom.

What had just happened?!

In one moment we're having a great time and in the next moment strange topics are being brought on and he storms out?! Kids and parents… Adoption?! Where exactly did that come from?!

Still feeling like I've been hit with a brick (just after a great orgasm, mind you!) I stood up on shaky legs, wincing as certain liquids flowed down my thighs. Using the walls for support every now and then I crept in the bathroom; Izumo was nowhere in sight and his favorite sneakers were missing. Sighing, I turned on the water, for a second or two just standing under the shower spray.

Kids, huh? Certain scenes from my own childhood, half-forgotten, flashbacked in my mind – me, sitting on the rug in front of an unlit fireplace, playing alone, as my brother played somewhere else with his friends; the "family", having dinner in complete silence; me, waking up from a nightmare in the room I shared with my brother, trying not to whimper so he wouldn't wake up and hit me; my father, completely forgetting my birthday…

And then I remembered other things, things I didn't even know my mind had stored – my mother, smiling hesitantly and a bit worriedly as she waved at me, sending me off for my first day at school after the welcoming ceremony; a vanilla cake she had prepared for _my_ birthday, even though my brother hated vanilla; a new bedspread with a print of the superhero she had known I was crazy about … And years later - my mother, sitting in my living room, crying and confessing how much she had missed me. Now that I knew that she had cared I could see clearer how much she had tried, despite everything.

_"Kotetsu. Listen to a mother, who wants the best for her child…"_

She would love to have a grandchild.

But I wasn't… ready… I didn't know how…

And he thought… again… that it was all because of our past…

My fist collided with the mirrored wall of the shower cabin, cracking the thin thing, as I slid to the floor… alone and confused like never before…

* * *

I burst into the cops' room, grabbed his arm and dragged him out. Unlike him though, I decided Bens didn't need to hear this one particular conversation, so I dragged him in one of ANBU's training rooms.

"What the…?", he began.

"It's not _us_, it's _me_!"

He frowned. "What?", he asked again, quietly; softly.

I raked a hand through my wild hair, pacing in frustration.

"Every time we have a serious fight or any kind of serious issue comes up between us, you blame our past. No matter how many times I tell you it's in the _past_, _forgiven_ if not completely forgotten, you don't accept it! And now this comes up, and it is a real serious issue, though I never saw it coming! And it's only natural that you jump on your usual conclusion, now seeming more valid than ever…!"

I gave a frustrated sigh. "Can't you see?! It is all so… shocking to me! I am gay, I have accepted that I would never have kids of my own, and I have never even considered that I may have someone with whom I'd ever consider adopting! And now I have, you, and you suggest it out of the blue and woah! I cannot do that, Izumo! Don't you understand?! I have NO idea how to be a parent! And you know why, you know about my family issues and you didn't even think about that, jumping instead to conclusions, again, about our past! I've barely started to understand what it means to have a real family! With you! And now you suggest to bring along someone… someone more?! To raise a child?! I don't know how! And don't tell me that no one knows, because you know that's not even the real issue and…!"

"…and what?", he asked softly.

"I'm not ready. I'm sorry, I love you, but I'm not ready. I might never be."

Silence.

"But you said you have never even considered it…"

"Izumo…"

"…and that's all I'm asking you…"

"Izumo…!"

"Just come see him, that's all I want-…"

"Izumo!"

He closed his eyes, flinching from my yell. When he opened them, he was looking away, frowning.

"I'll stay at my mother's house for a few days…"

"Izumo, please…!"

"I need some time… to think…", he turned around, walking away.

I hit a nearby punching bag, shouting with frustration.

* * *

"You look like shit."

"Not now, Genma…"

It had been two days. Two days since our fight in ANBU's training room and two nights since he'd gone to his parent's house and I'd slept alone.

Genma's sharp look inspected me, but he said nothing more. He let me be for the rest of the week, not making any jokes or even efforts to cheer me up. He gave me space.

Iruka tried to coax me to talk over a few beers, but I wasn't ready yet, to talk with anyone, even him. Tsume suggested we go for a ride but that only caused my stomach to clench and my heart to twist with the thought of how he would react to that. I ended up training with Ares again, exhausting myself to the point of collapsing.

On Saturday I just couldn't bear it anymore.

I knocked politely, trying very hard to hold back my nervousness. The door opened and his mother smiled with understanding. She stepped back, inviting me in and then patted my shoulder and said softly, "He's in the backyard."

Izumo sat under the oak three, looking pensive and drinking from a beer can. Taking one last fortifying breath, I stepped closer and sat next to him. He didn't startle; he didn't even look at me.

"So… who is he?", I asked.

He was surprised enough to finally look up. "Huh?"

"At first I thought we were talking about adoption in general, but then you said you wanted me to 'just come see him'. Who's 'him'?"

Sighing as if he was giving up, he leaned back and I lifted my arm, so he could snuggle closer and I could embrace him better.

"That kid I saved… from the fire. Hajime."

For a while, we just stayed there in silence; when he started fidgeting I knew I had to say something.

"Look, since you left… I _have_ been thinking. I _have_ begun to consider it as a possibility, but… I still need time, Zu", I said, hugging him tighter, as if I was subconsciously trying to prevent him to bolt after he hears my words. "I need some more time."

Obviously deciding that even that was an improvement, he didn't bolt; he even relaxed some more into my embrace. "Okay", he said quietly.

And for now it was; okay.

* * *

He did come home that night, but was distant the whole next two weeks. We slept together in the same bed, but he curled in his half instead of his usual sprawling on top of me.

I finally accepted that I need to talk. But not with Bens.

"So how did you decide to adopt Naruto?"

Iruka looked at me over the rim of his glass, frowning.

"You know how. He was alone. He was like me. We were getting along and I was getting away. I just took him with me."

"But how did you know that… you'd be able to do that, raise a kid and all?"

When he'd first told me his story, he'd made it sound like he'd adopted Naruto as a _kid_, came to Konoha and started his job as a cop immediately, just before I'd come here as well. When I'd actually seen Naruto, a young man, nearing his twenties, I'd asked Iruka again and he'd explained that he'd worked as a martial arts sensei in the next town's sport's school, where most of the future cops came from (and where Naruto had been registered at the time). Then, after Naruto grew up, took his exam and entered the Academy in Konoha, they moved here and Iruka got his current job as cop, just a few months before I'd gotten here as well.

My point is, he _had_ really adopted a small kid.

He frowned again. "I didn't know. You could never be sure, Kotetsu. No matter if it's your birth child or adopted… You just… give your all and hope for the best", he shrugged, smiling.

"But… how were you sure that you're ready, to try or eventually actually start 'giving your all'? How did you know what to do when he was sick, or angry or sad or how to prevent him to be alone and-and how to teach him to make friends and…"

"Kotetsu?"

"Yeah?"

"Are… you and Izumo considering…?"

I kept looking at the table, playing with the coaster for my glass.

"Izumo wants to. I'm not ready."

"Oh. Well… it is a serious step. One shouldn't take it if one isn't sure."

I snorted. "I know that already."

"Sorry", Iruka mumbled. "But… I think that, one day, when you are ready, you'd made an awesome dad."

I snorted again, louder. "How?! You know where I come from. You know how I've been raised, what I've seen… and mostly, what I _haven't_ seen! I don't have the model of parenthood, Iruka!"

He smiled gently. "You are not your father, Kotetsu. Parenthood _happens_ naturally – sure it takes a lot of effort, but if you don't have it in yourself, if you don't _want_ it, no matter how many books you read or how many toys you buy, you just suck and that's it. What I meant was that… I think you have it, that natural talent."

I smiled lopsidedly. "You're just being a good friend and trying to cheer me up, but thanks."

"Look at me", he said. Still smirking I did look up only to see him watching me intently. "I meant what I said. Know that."

Smiling slightly, but a lot more sincerely, I nodded. "Thanks, man."

* * *

"Woff!"

"There, there… aren't you a bit too grown up to cry for Mommy?"

The puppy whimpered, as if only hearing about Mommy made him sad that she wasn't around. Tsume chuckled, toweling the just-bathed new addition to the family. It was the only male dog in the litter – her own Kuromaru's youngest kids. When she'd let Kuromaru mate with another clan's (thoroughbred) female dog, it had been previously negotiated that the Inuzukas will be given the first born male puppy. It had turned out to be the only male, but a deal is a deal…

Now, old enough to be separated from the mother, the puppy was being properly introduced into the family.

Tsume looked at the small dog with uncharacteristically soft expression.

"He might be Kuromaru's last son, you know", she suddenly said.

Raising an eyebrow, I looked at the proud father, standing nearby, supervising Tsume's every move. He didn't look any different; didn't look sick or anything…

"He's getting old, Kotetsu", Tsume said quietly, gently caressing the puppy's soft fur. "Kuromaru is… he's my first dog. It's true our family has bred them for generations, but he was the first _I'd_ taken care of by _myself_."

"He looks quite alright to me", I tried to cheer her. "Happy and healthy."

"Well, I try, thank you very much", she grinned.

The door opened and another black and white (huge) furball shot into the room. It stopped right in front of the puppy, who whimpered again, and began sniffing the smaller dog. Two tall men ran inside the house, right after the furball, both panting.

"Akamaru! No dog cookies for you tonight!", Kiba declared, still heaving and resting his hands on his knees. Kankuro rubbed his back soothingly and absentmindedly.

Akamaru ignored the threat and waved his tail, excited. He whimpered impatiently, looking at Kiba and then back at the puppy. Kiba, being Kiba (temperamental, but in fact – a big softie) smiled.

"Yeah, buddy. That's your baby brother."

Akamaru shot a look at his father, as if saying something along the lines of "You old, sly dog!" Kuromaru turned his head arrogantly. Akamaru snorted, making us people laugh too.

"I'll go prepare some food for this little fella", Tsume said, standing up. "Kotetsu, wanna help with the dog food for the others?"

"Sure", I said, following her.

Experienced as she was, it took her only a few minutes to chop some meat to tiny bits for the baby; I apportioned some dog food in Akamaru's and Kuromaru's bows and we returned into the room, serving the canine dinner. Kiba and Kankuro were pretty much crawling on the floor on all fours, cooing to the puppy. Tsume and I remained standing.

"You know, sometimes I think that raising a dog is a lot like raising a child", she said. Then she saw my shocked expression, laughed and continued, "Oh, don't look at me like that! I haven't served Kiba's dinner in a bow! But… you know, I meant the effort… the care. Listen to someone who has experience in both raising children AND dogs – the people who are good at the one thing are usually good in the other as well. And I don't mean myself. But I've had years to observe, family and friends… No matter what happens first, parenthood or breeding dogs, it prepares you for the other."

I bet she had no idea how much her words meant for me just then.

* * *

He was reading a book when I stepped out of the bathroom and walked into the bedroom – the flashy dust jacket promised a bestseller fantasy. I put on some boxers and slipped under the covers. Izumo closed the book, turned off the lamp on his bedside table and curled on his side. I sighed, looking at the ceiling, then turned as well. For a few seconds I just watched his back. Then I slowly moved closer, sliding an arm over his stomach and kissing his nape. He didn't object to that, but didn't encourage me either.

"I was thinking… tomorrow, after work… You could take me to see Hajime", I said quietly.

His breath hitched a bit. He didn't turn around, didn't say anything; just slid his own arm over mine, his palm over my hand, interlacing our fingers. He brought my hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on my knuckles before he lowered our joined hands back to his stomach. He moved back a little, wriggling till he got comfortably snuggled and properly spooned.

Once again, like always in our most intense moments, we didn't need words.


	6. Chapter 6 First impression

**A.N.** Well, what do you know - when I put up that ultimatum about reviews last time, I did get more reviews! -_-'' Seriously guys, don't make me do that. Review because you LIKE the story, not because I make you. (But if you don't review I'll decide you don't like the story enough and will delay the updates ;))

Chapter 6 – First impression

**Izumo POV**

"Okay. How do I look?"

I turned around and pursed my lips; laughing was not gonna do well with his nerves now.

Kotetsu wore black trousers, pale gray dress shirt and a black tie. His wild hair was pulled back in a ponytail.

"Depends", I said. "Are you going to your graduation ball?"

He growled, running a hand through his relatively tamed hair, pacing in our living room.

"Then what do you suggest I wear?!"

"What you normally wear? Tetsu, we're just going to see him…"

"I cannot wear a Rammstein shirt amongst the kids!"

"Hey, now, you do have some more presentable ones…"

"We should have gone shopping. For plain, respectable clothes…"

"You hate shopping", I rolled my eyes.

"First contact is always important…"

"First contact? He's not an alien, Kotetsu."

"Do they know we're a gay couple? Would they even let us talk to him, as a couple?"

"Kotetsu. Love. You're freaking out. Freaking _me_ out. Go put on some normal clothes and hurry up!"

He growled again and walked back into our bedroom to change. I sighed – Kami help me if he was gonna be such a freaked out dad! I caught myself and immediately berated myself for such a rash thought. I was getting ahead of myself, let them first meet and talk, let Kotetsu think it through properly, it was still such a big thing for him and…

"Babe? Do you think he likes green? I found a plain green pullover! I think your Mom gave it to me for Xmas…"

I couldn't help but grin as I went to help him.

* * *

"Stop fidgeting."

"Who's fidgeting!? I'm not fidgeting! I'm alright. Totally."

"…Yeah. Keep telling yourself that."

The door opened with a creaking sound and the director of the orphanage walked in along with Hajime. Kotetsu took in another fortifying breath.

"Hello, Hajime", I smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm fine and you?", he said the well-learnt comeback like a well-mannered little boy.

"I'm fine too. I brought someone who wanted to meet you", I said, turning a bit to look at Kotetsu.

I must admit I was quite proud of my partner when he managed a decent, friendly smile and extended a hand towards Hajime.

"Hello, Hajime. My name is Kotetsu."

"Hello, Kotetsu-san", Hajime responded. Kotetsu flinched a little. I suppressed a smile and whispered to him,

"Yeah, he does that with me, too."

"You didn't come recently", Hajime observed.

"You haven't come recently", the director automatically corrected him. Hajime dutifully repeated that.

"Yeah, I was… hm… a bit confused. I'm sorry I haven't come to see you those last few days…" 15 days; since Kotetsu and I brought the matter up for serious discussion.

"You just came every day before that", Hajime shrugged. I felt Kotetsu's eyes on me, but didn't turn back to him; instead I forced a smile for Hajime.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, buddy. Did you want to tell me something?"

Another shrug. "It's just nice when you come to see me."

Kotetsu took in a shaky breath.

"Well… we'll try to come more often from now on. Right, Kotetsu?", I asked, kinda hopefully, as I turned back to look at him. Kotetsu nodded vigorously. I smiled at him, just for him, trying to express what that meant, that he was ready for more visits…more serious consideration.

"Why don't you tell us what you did those last few days?", I suggested.

Hajime's face brightened and he began talking about the new game that the teachers had taught the kids.

* * *

He was silent on the way home. Pensive. I knew he was deeply affected by Hajime's honest and blunt answers, hinting (if not blatantly showing) how lonely he was and how he craved the attention. The boy had also mentioned, again, that he wasn't waiting or dreaming for a family anymore. Kotetsu had turned his back sharply and paced to the nearest window, trying, like he usually did, to deal with his emotions without a public.

"I think it went okay…", I tried to cheer him up a bit.

"Mmm", he just hummed.

"He's not what you expected, huh?", I smirked.

"No", he answered right away; the question had been quite easy.

"… Do you want to go again?"

"…Yes."

I smiled, holding the wheel with one hand for a moment, so my other one could grasp his and bring it to my lips as I kissed his knuckles, my eyes still watching the road.

* * *

"Here. This is for you."

Hajime took the box and tore at the wrapping paper with typical child's enthusiasm. He soon held the present in his chubby hands, inspecting the car toy with typical boyish joy.

"Wow! Thank you so much!"

"Kotetsu chose it", I said quickly. Hajime's wonder-filled impossibly-colored eyes turned to Kotetsu. Then he did something he'd never done – he flung himself at Kotetsu, hugging him hard.

"Thanks, Kotetsu-san!"

Kotetsu blushed, running a hesitant hand through Hajime's pale hair. "For nothing…" he muttered.

"Can I go play with it?", Hajime asked impatiently.

"Yeah. Yeah, sure, go…"

He ran outside, showing the toy to the other kids as we stayed in the foyer, watching them.

"We're going for more toys", Kotetsu declared, nodding to himself. "Yeah."

I pursed my lips hard, biting back a huge grin.

* * *

"He's so small… tiny…", Kotetsu mused.

We laid in our bed that night, looking at the ceiling. He ran a hand through my hair lazily.

"I know, right? Even for his age… He's five, but he looks like a 3-year-old…"

"…Can we do that? Can we… take care of him? It's such a responsibility…!"

"Some people would say that being a high-ranked soldier or a cop is a responsibility too."

"I don't know… I really don't know…"

He sounded so confused. I knew I shouldn't push him. I tried not to. I just hugged him tighter.

* * *

I stood by the fence, watching Kotetsu and Hajime play in the sandbox.

"What are we building?", Kotetsu asked, digging up sand and piling it absentmindedly.

"A castle", Hajime immediately responded.

"Yeah? Who'll live there?"

Hajime rolled his eyes. "Again, ants and worms. What's wrong with older men…?", he muttered.

"Huh?"

"Izumo-san asked the same."

"Oh", Kotetsu grinned and shot an amused look at me. "Do you like building sand castles with him?"

"Yeah. And he likes the sandbox too."

"I'll bet…", Kotetsu murmured. He looked at me again. "He has a history with sandboxes*…"

I narrowed my eyes, but couldn't suppress a tiny smile.

Hajime blinked a few times, not understanding that last statement, then shrugged and continued instructing Kotetsu what to do.

"You seem to have made your decision."

I turned around and smiled at the director. She smiled back, then turned her eyes towards the sandbox.

"I'm guessing he's the one making up his mind now?", she asked, always perceptive.

I nodded, then hesitated for a moment and decided to say it anyway.

"He's worried we may have problems with adoption… because of our sexuality."

"Officer", I turned around to see her smiling again, "this is Konoha. Gay couples have earned many rights and adoption is amongst them." She looked at the sandbox again; I could see she was trying to be delicate when she asked her next question. "Is that his only worry?"

"…No. He's had…a difficult childhood."

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry…"

"It's okay." There was a pause of silence and then I just couldn't hold back… "I just want him to be ready… sure about it… sure that he wants it."

I felt her gentle hand on my shoulder, squeezing it lightly with silent reassurance.

**A.N.** Kotetsu refers to Izumo kissing his first crush in a sandbox as a child. See **To live again**, chapter 6 for more info ;)


	7. Chapter 7 Decision

**A.N.** Dear Readers (supposed-to-be-reviewers), the Rule about the comments remains - no update till at least 4 different people have reviewed. I am currently writing chapter 15. Just so you know that ch. 8-14 are WRITTEN and posting them SOONER depends on YOU.

Sincerely,

assassi

Chapter 7 – Decision

**Kotetsu POV**

"So… how's it going?"

I looked up from my ramen and stared at Iruka, who smiled a very sly, very knowing smile.

"Don't play dumb. I have a friend who works at the café next to the orphanage. He mentioned that two of my colleagues went there quite often recently."

I rolled my eyes. "We're just…visiting. Nothing's decided yet."

"Yet", Iruka noted.

I looked down at my bowl, poking the few bits of ramen.

"I'm… sca-… Worried. I don't know if I can do something that big and responsible."

"Well, I've told you my opinion of the matter. Just take your time, thinking about everything."

I nodded, smiling a bit and quickly changing the subject.

* * *

"Why are you visiting me always together? Are you really close friends?"

Izumo and I blinked stupidly. No one had thought about an answer if that question was ever brought up. Izumo cleared his throat.

"We eer… we… live together, Hajime. And…"

"Hajime, do you remember when we talked about how good countries, like Konoha, said that every kind of love between adults is okay? How there are sometimes a mother and a father and sometimes there are two mothers or two fathers in a family?", the director interjected. Hajime nodded. She smiled. "Izumo-san and Kotetsu-san love each other. They live together as a family", she said simply.

"Oh. Okay", Hajime just said.

"…Okay?", I asked hesitantly.

"Okay", Hajime repeated, shrugging a bit. The director caught my eyes and nodded.

"Okay", she said, meaningfully.

I exhaled a breath I didn't know I'd been holding back and smiled with gratitude as I nodded back to her.

* * *

There was some kind of commotion; people screaming and running, smoke rising from a nearby building… For a moment I thought that I had returned back in time and I was going to see how Izumo had been shot, all over again.

But then I realized it was a different place. The building where the smoke was rising from was a school – someone had thrown a grenade. The screaming people were mostly small children – it must be an elementary school then. I was wearing the ANBU gear, but something more than just duty made me frantic as I searched amongst the children… for whom?

"DADDY!"

I turned around.

Hajime stood in the middle of the whole chaos, crying, covered in soot… Izumo laid in his feet, shot in five different places, coughing out blood…

"Aaaaaaaah!"

I shot up in the bed, sitting up and panting harshly. The gentle hand on my shoulder made jump back until I realized it was Izumo. He looked pale, far from sleepy… he was too worried for me.

"What is it?", he asked quietly.

It seemed we both realized, in the same moment, that my trembling fingers were tracing his scars again.

"Oh…", he just said.

"…It was worse. It was worse this time… Hajime was… and you were…"

He hugged me tightly, kissing the top of my head, murmuring quiet reassurances.

"It's okay, love. I'm here… I'm here…"

And every day I thanked Kami sama that he was!

And what about… Hajime…?

I had turned around as if he'd called _me_; I had turned around when he called for his _dad_.

* * *

"You look more tired today", Hajime observed.

I smiled lopsidedly. "I didn't sleep well last night", I admitted. "I had a very bad nightmare."

"Oh. I have nightmares too."

He did?

"What about?"

Stupid question.

"Well… the fire…"

I closed my eyes, cursing silently at myself.

"I also hate spiders… and snakes… and dark."

Huh. Well those were normal fears for a child, right?

"When I have a nightmare, Tsubaki-san comes to hug me and tell me that everything is okay and sometimes whenthenightmare isreallybadshegivesmewarmmil k", he gabbled, making me chuckle.

"Speak more slowly, buddy", I winked. He nodded like a good child.

"Does Izumo-san hug you and give you warm milk when you have a bad dream?", he inquired.

I laughed. "He hugs me; I don't really like milk."

"Oh. And where's he today? He's alright, right?"

I smiled. "He's okay. He had more work today, so I came alone. Is that okay with you, Hajime?"

"Mm", he nodded. "I like you both."

I grinned, but my smile faded when I thought about something that had bugged me for a while.

"Hajime…", I started hesitantly, "what would you think if… a family of, say, two fathers… wants to adopt you?"

He frowned. "I don't understand."

"Uh… I mean, would it matter that there will not be a mother and a father, but two fathers?"

"…No? Good countries, like Konoha, say that every kind of love…", he began.

"Yes, yes, but… would it matter for _you_? Like, do you specifically want a mother?"

He frowned more. "I don't know. I don't know what a mother is like", he said, again with those blunt answers, that made my heart clench painfully.

"So", I tried one last time, "if, say, tomorrow, two men, whom you like, come here and say that they want you to be their kid… what would you say?"

"I will say yes, of course. If I like them. I still don't understand you…"

But I wasn't listening anymore. I was too busy grinning like a loon and basking in the warm, fuzzy feeling inside my chest.

* * *

When Izumo came back that evening, I was already in the spare bedroom.

"Honey, I'm home", he sang, just a bit mockingly. I smirked, muttering "Idiot…" under my nose.

He stepped into the room and looked around, mimicking me. "Eer… what are we doing?"

"… I was thinking we could paint it sky blue. We'd get rid of that bed and buy that one that looks like a car toy…"

"What?", he asked, very quietly, with badly hidden hope in his voice.

"We'll have to buy some shelves for his books and maybe a toy box, and a new wardrobe and some cupboards, and a soccer ball shaped puff for that corner… We have to leave space for a desk for when he starts going to school, but no computers till he turns at least 12! No TV in his own bedroom, too.."

"Kotetsu…"

"And we should go to the orphanage tomorrow and ask them for the adoption forms and stuff. Where do I even sign? Do you know where we must sign?"

He flung himself at me, arms around my neck and legs around my waist, kissing me deeply, making us stumble backwards to the wall. He was shaking all over. When he finally pulled back he was both grinning happily and crying.

"Are you sure? Absolutely, 100% sure?", he asked hopefully.

I grinned back. "Yes. Yes, babe. Let's have a baby boy!"

He burst laughing, still snuggled safely in my arms. And then he was kissing me and whispering, over and over again, "I love you… so much, so much! I love you so much…!"

I loved him too. And I was ready for the next step.


	8. Chapter 8 Bureaucracy

**A.N.** Now, because you were nice (cough-forced?-cough) and reviewed last time, here's ch.8. It's a biiiit angsty, but the next is very eventful, like you'd no doubt guess by the end of ch.8. So do not forget the Comments Rule ;)

Chapter 8 – Bureaucracy

**Izumo POV**

"How long have you been together?"

Kotetsu and I both fidgeted under the cold gaze of the social worker. Suzume Karin: a middle aged woman, with a stony face and ice-cold gray eyes, penetrating you and accusing you of… everything.

"Three years", Kotetsu said. His hand crept in mine and he sounded a bit apologetic when he said (talking to her, but looking at me), "We had an anniversary recently."

I smiled, just for him, and squeezed his hand, reassuringly.

"Would you say that your relationship is a stable one?"

We exchanged a look. "Well… it's a normal relationship. We've had our ups and downs, but, as you can see, we've stayed together. So, yes", Kotetsu answered.

"Have you discussed marriage and if so, how seriously?"

We both winced. "We haven't", I said.

She raised an eyebrow and scratched something in her notebook.

"Look, it's just not something we've thought we needed…", I began.

"I am here to judge just how serious your relationship is, Kamizuki san. You will agree that people, who are not ready for serious commitment even between the two of them, may not be ready to commit their lives to another young human being's."

_"Another young human being's?"_, I mentally raised an eyebrow at the choice of words.

"We are ready for that! Do you think we'd apply for adoption if we hadn't considered this carefully?!", Kotetsu exclaimed.

She raised her eyebrows again at his outburst and scratched some more in the notebook. Maybe something like "too temperamental"…

"How much is your monthly income?"

"Look, I'm an ANBU, we are well-paid and Izumo and I can certainly afford…"

"In the scale between 1 and 10 how dangerous would you say your job is?"

"Lady, I'm a high-ranked soldier and my man is cop, how dangerous do you think our jobs are?!"

She scratched angrily in the notebook. Kotetsu sighed with frustration. I squeezed his hand again.

"If something were to happen with both of you, who would you entrust Hajime to?"

"My mother", I answered quickly. "And Hajime will also have his aunt, my sister, and his godfathers…"

She checked in her notebook, nodding. "Umino Iruka and Suzuki Reiji. Also policemen", another angry scratch. "Someone less likely to get wounded or killed, except Kamizuki san - the grandmother? How about your parents, Hagane san?"

I felt him tensing. "…No… he won't…"

"I see here that you do have relatives in Suna…"

"He will not be entrusted to them!", Kotetsu exclaimed, again.

She blinked, very taken aback, and scratched some more in her notebook.

"Do you not have a strong relationship with your family, Hagane san?"

"What does it matter?! It's us, this man and I, who want to adopt and raise Hajime as best as possible! Isn't it more important that we can and want to provide him with everything?"

"Family bonds are also so much important, Hagane san", Suzume said, with something like pity in her voice. Kotetsu clenched his jaw and I squeezed his hand tighter, silently begging him to keep quiet for once!

"If Hajime ever gets adopted by you, I will expect to see him socialize with his grandparents on the Hagane side of the family. That's all for today. We'll see each other again on Thursday", she concluded, standing up and marching towards the door. I stood up quickly to see her out. She spat out a quick 'goodbye' and left in a hurry, I assume - to torment more people who wanted to adopt. I returned into the living room to see Kotetsu still sitting on the couch, his hands covering his face as his elbows rested on his bent knees. I sat down next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

_"__**If **__Hajime __**ever**__ gets adopted by you…",_ he repeated. "She's never gonna give him to us, Zu", he choked out. I hugged him tighter, trying not to give up to the dark, cold feeling in my chest, the needs, all at once, to cry and yell in frustration, brake things and curl somewhere away from everything…

* * *

**Kotetsu POV**

Hajime ran in circles in the backyard, waving an airplane-toy this time. I smiled sadly, wondering, not for the first time since Suzume's visit, if I wasn't just tormenting myself by visiting him if she'd never going to give him to us.

"You look quite down today", the director of the orphanage, Matsumoto Ayame, observed.

I forced a smile for the kind woman and shrugged. "It's nothing, I just…" And then I dropped the act and said bluntly, "Things aren't going well with the social worker."

She nodded with understanding, watching Hajime and the other kids.

"You know, Matsumoto san…"

"Ayame, please", she corrected with a kind smile. I smiled back.

"Ayame… you said our sexuality isn't gonna be a problem, but… I don't know… It seems _everything_ is a problem, and our sexuality just hasn't been discussed _yet_… And when it is, it's gonna be just _another_ problem. Like our jobs, us not being married… my family issues… everything."

She squeezed my shoulder reassuringly.

"I know it looks hard now, but… just try and endure. This is the hardest part."

I nodded miserably.

"Uhm… I know it's not my place, but… I know for a fact that… married… or _engaged_ couples… are looked upon better…", she said delicately. "And… I wouldn't even say that, but I can see that you love him… you're obviously serious enough to consider adopting… a sign in the family registry looks like a formality in this case."

I turned to look at her, now thoughtful. When she put it like that…

Izumo came up next to me (he'd been held back at work again, so I'd came alone with his promise to join me later), kissed my cheek chastely and sneaked behind Hajime, then grabbed him and spun him around while Hajime squealed in delight.

That is the moment I realized how much I wanted this. This exact thing: my man and my kid, happy.

And suddenly the means to get it, or at least get closer to getting it, seemed so simple…

**A.N.** Do not forget the Comments Rule.


	9. Chapter 9 Commitment

**A.N.** My dear reviewers. You have been good :D So here I present you with ch. 9, both as a gift for all the ladies on the International Women's day and because you reviewed like good kids ;) Do not forget to do it again! (The Rule remains ;))

Chapter 9 – Commitment

**Kotetsu POV**

"Would you say that you are explicit in showing your love for each other?"

Here it comes…

"Are you asking us if we'd have sex in front of our child?", Izumo asked coldly. Suzume blinked and I swear I saw her blushing.

"I-I wouldn't… that isn't what I…"

"Are you suggesting that we shouldn't ever show our child that his parents love each other?"

"But…! Kamizuki san, are you suggesting that having sexual intercourse in front of a child is showing them how parents love each other!?", Suzume burst out.

"Do excuse me", he corrected himself. "I went too far, acting offended. **_Of course_**, what you just said is unthinkable and we'd **_never_** do that. I just wanted to make it clear that I will not hide from my son when I want to kiss his father."

"_Just_ kiss?", she inquired, still blushing.

"**_Yes_**. Would questions like these been asked if we were a heterosexual couple?", I growled. She turned around, startled, blushing harder.

"Hagane san, these are standard questions and I assure you…"

Then, she did something I didn't expect her to do – she sighed, forced (a very clipped, but still) smile and said, "Let's try again, this time _without_ everyone feeling offended. Just to make it clear, you'll restrict the love displays to kisses. Right?"

I'm sure we were both confused by her change of tactics but we both nodded.

"And, when you want to be… more intimate… that will happen in your own bedroom, preferably while he's not at home or at night when he sleeps, preferably quietly and less-likely child-trauma-causingly?"

Even more confused, we nodded again. She smiled, a tiny bit more warmly.

"Just for the record, Hagane san, we _do_ ask those questions to _all_ the couples, who want to adopt, and to some of the biological parents that we consult", she said.

I guess it was our turn to blush and look down, even though we were both smiling slightly.

"Now, next question…"

* * *

I handed him the plate with homemade cookies (I'd especially called his mother for the recipe) and took a deep breath.

"So… you're not working on Saturday, right?"

"Hm?", he smiled at a joke the TV commentator had just said and turned around to look at me. "Nope. Why?"

"I was thinking… we've been too busy, tired and nervous lately. We could use a little break… some rest away from everything… And… we could go to the beach…I mean, I know it's still too cold for swimming or…"

"I'd love that."

I smiled. "It's a date, then."

He smiled back. "Our first?"

I frowned as I realized that he was right. It had just so happened with our relationship that we hadn't gone to actual dates. "Huh… I guess you're right", I muttered, still surprised.

He just laughed and leaned to kiss me.

* * *

We went with his car. He was driving and we made a small talk – about work, the way we teased Anko and Gai for their relationship, the way the cops teased Hayate about his mysterious new lover, the upcoming transfer of Shikaku's son into ANBU, Uchiha Sasuke's and Naruto's upcoming graduation and admittance in another station; about that album of Marilyn Manson that he still couldn't find, the AC/DC T-shirt I'd liked in a shop but they didn't have my size…

When we reached the beach it was almost noon. He pulled over at the parking lot and we began walking on the sand, towards the ocean. There was a light breeze and the place was deserted, considering that it was only the beginning of March.

We stopped when we neared the water; he was gazing at the horizon, smiling slightly, and I was watching him.

"Do you like it, here?", I asked quietly.

"I love it", he murmured.

Now or never, Kotetsu.

I pulled out the small box I'd been clutching in my pocket and fell on one knee in front of him. His eyes widened.

"Kotetsu…", he whispered, his voice filled with shock, wonder, surprise and even some fear.

"Marry me", I simply said.

Of course, with us, nothing could be simple.

He smiled a bit, then frowned. "Is this only about Hajime? Cuz if it is and you wouldn't do it otherwise I should tell you that I take these things very seriously and marriage is something very serious for me…"

"Izumo, _Izumo_!"

He finally shut up and looked at me with some mixture of hope, insecurity, nervousness and want. I smiled.

"It is true that we have never talked about this. But something a friend said to me made me realize that it is only natural. Logical. I love you. Hopefully, you love me too…"

"Idiot, you know I do…"

I grinned and he stopped talking again. I continued. "We love each other. Hopefully, we're gonna have a child together and this would only help. And while it _will_ help, I don't propose to you just because of this. Like I just said, I love you. I want to be with you. Seeing as I want you to be the father of my child, the child I want to raise only with you, I think it's only natural that I'd want you to be my _lawful_ mate. I want the rights that come with calling you my husband and I'm ready for the responsibilities. So, will you marry me?"

He was grinning so hard by the end of my speech that the question had become quite a formality by this point, but he nodded anyways and fell down in front of me, kissing me hard; his arms went around my neck and he pulled me closer. When he finally pulled back a little he whispered in my lips,

"Lawful _mate_, huh?"

I growled, trying to hide my sudden blush. "Shut up…"

He chuckled. "C'mere, Alpha dog…"

* * *

Now, let me tell you that sex on the passenger's seat of a sports car isn't comfortable.

But it's damn hot.

He panted in the hollow of my neck, still sitting in my lap and with me still buried inside him. Our clothes were a mess and I suspected that his beloved leather seats had suffered as well, but in that moment he didn't seem to care. I lifted his hand, the one with the ring on that finger and examined it once again. My sign. And it looked damn nice on him, I decided possessively.

"You don't need to look so smug", he muttered sleepily, making me realize that I was grinning again.

"Sure I do… Hagane Izumo."

"What?! I didn't agree on that!"

"Fine, fine", I mock-sighed. "Hagane-Kamizuki?"

"You too."

"Mm?"

"You take that name too."

"…Okay."

"Deal", he said.

I smiled again. "I have to call my mother…", I mused.

"Oh?", he sounded genuinely surprised.

I rubbed his arm, still smiling. "Do you remember that Christmas… with the surprise visit and all*?"

"How could I ever forget it…"

I chuckled. "Yeah, well… remember when she was leaving and told me something and you didn't hear and whined a lot later, demanding that I tell you?"

"You never did."

"…I _just_ did."

He lifted his head and looked down at me, frowning. "What?"

"My mother told me to listen to her advice and 'marry this man'", I grinned.

A slow smile and a slight blush bloomed on his face. "Oh…", he just said.

He laid back down, absentmindedly playing with my hair. "You should tell her about Hajime too…", he mused.

"Mmm…She'd love to have a grandchild."

"…Hagane-Kamizuki Hajime. Well, it's a bit long…"

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind. And it sounds perfect to me."

"Hmm…"

Silence.

"So… I say that we go back home and start practicing with the quiet sex."

I burst laughing.

* * *

I made sure to hold his hand just the right way so Suzume could see the ring during her next visit. He rolled his eyes, but smiled and allowed that. Her sharp eyes immediately fixed on his finger and she smiled one of her rare smiles.

"Congratulations", she said.

"Thanks", we both said; she seemed to like that.

"Now, about that room you were preparing for him…"

"Yes, we just ordered the bed – we wanted it to be a bit longer, so he could have a space to grow. We decided on 1,60 m, cuz we're obviously gonna change the bed when he grows bigger than that, no teenage boy wants a car-toy-shaped bed…"

"Hagane san…"

"They said it would take only a few days… which means tomorrow; we'd take the bed tomorrow. And the paint has already dried and my Mom made those curtains…"

"Kamizuki san…"

"Yes, and _my_ Mom has been told and will come as soon as possible. She's started a job, so she said she'd try to take her leave by the end of the month…"

Suzume cleared her throat. We shut up. She smiled again (wow, twice in a day?!) and said, "I was just going to say that you've done an excellent job."

"Oh…", he scratched the back of his head. "Thanks", he said, exchanging a look and a smile with me.

"Well, I guess you know you'll be visited by a supervising social worker – more frequently in the beginning and then less and less often until the visits cease when the Social Agency is convinced that Hajime is well taken care of and happy…"

Izumo gripped my arm painfully, his eyes wide and his breath hitched.

"…now you have to sign here…"

We did – first me and then him, both with shaking hands.

"That's it."

"That's… it?", he asked, unbelievingly.

"That's it. You can take him home tomorrow."

Pause.

"Seriously? No more questions and inspections of his room and our bedroom and the bathroom and my work, and Kotetsu's work and-and reassurances that Jash has all the vaccines and is trained and… No more?"

She smiled for the third-fucking-time! and shook her head. "No more."

He turned back to look at me, grinning widely, then he kissed me, jumped from the couch, kissed _her_, and ran for the phone. Suzume and I both just sat there, frozen from shock. I cracked a small apologetic smile.

"Eer… he's very… emotional."

She just nodded, stood up and walked to the door. There, she extended her hand for a handshake.

"Well, goodbye then. And good luck", she said.

"Thanks", I smiled. Izumo's voice rang from the living room.

"MOM!? WE'RE TAKING HIM HOME!.!.! WE'RE TAKING HIM HOME TOMORROW!.!.!"

I grinned.

**A.N.** * - see **"Unexpected visit"** if you haven't or you've forgotten the scene. Also, you whined a lot about the "they're gonna get married!" scene, so review now ;D


	10. Chapter 10 The party

**A.N.** This chapter was inspired by my dear **Kinkylittlewolf**, who sent me the song :) Btw, I wanted to ask my reviewers - should I stop with the dance/f*cking scenes or what? Like, too much already? Too corny? Do share an opinion. Also btw, I am currently listening to the soundtrack of our boys next HOT scene (probably in bed though ;)) I'll just say that it's a Massive Attack's song ;D

Chapter 10 – The party

Of course, Izumo called the godfathers-to-be. Of course Iruka and Reiji told the whole station. Of course Hidan was only too happy to _actually have_ an occasion for a party.

"I don't know, Zu. Last day alone at home…", I murmured, sitting on the couch while he dressed in the bedroom.

"Exactly! Our last clubbing… after this night, we'd need to leave our son with his grandmother if we want to have some fun…which is not gonna happen soon, once we _finally_ take him home!"

He emerged from the bedroom and seeing him in that moment made my eyes widen, my mouth water and my cock harden all at once. His legs were clad in black leather and he wore a simple black tank; his hair was free, brushing his shoulders. Both the leather and the top left little to imagination, mostly emphasizing his toned sexy body. I stood up slowly and began closing the distance between us, unconsciously moving in ANBU-mode – half stalking, but always ready to pounce.

"Fuck clubbing… let's stay here… right fucking here on the couch… naked and sweaty and…", I growled, reaching for him.

He chuckled and moved away swiftly. "Be a good boy and go get dressed", he ordered.

Grunting, I did what I was told. Was I going to become henpecked like Shikaku and Asuma? Muttering under my nose about bossy partners, I opened our wardrobe and began considering my outfit choices. Finally picking up a pair of black jeans and a tight-fit dark gray T-shirt Izumo had bought me I turned around to lay my clothes on the bed. That's when I noticed the pillow on his side. _That_ pillow.

See, Izumo had bought the yes/no pillow* for our last Valentine's day and while it did usually stay on its 'yes' side, it simply wasn't on the bed when the mood was a 'no'. Meaning that simply having put it on display on the bed, Izumo must have meant…

His arms hugged me from behind and he sniffed at the hollow of my neck before he murmured in my ear, "Later. When we get back from the club. So get dressed now."

With that, he licked my ear (the bastard!), patted my ass possessively and just left the room.

"You have five minutes!", his voice echoed from the living room.

"Or what?!", I yelled back.

"Or 'no'", was the simple answer.

Fuck, I thought while smiling none the less, totally henpecked.

* * *

The club was small; the semidarkness was only dispelled by the neon lights, pouring down over the dancing crowd. The loud applauses of our colleagues made almost everyone else turn to see who the two guys walking into the club were and why were they welcomed like that.

"Here come the hot daddies!", Hidan leered, tossing two identical pieces of black cloth at each of us. "Put those on, put them on!"

We unwrapped the bundles and both of us snorted at the same time, lifting the black T-shirts high enough for the guys to see the print "Hot Dad!" More laugher erupted, along with the flashes from at least two different cameras.

"When did you even had them done?", Izumo asked.

"I had to call in a favor. So put the fuck them on!"

"Just admit you want to see them half-naked…", Kisame chuckled, making all the guys laugh.

"Even fully naked, but that will do for now", Hidan leered. "Come on!"

I was fully aware of the heated glances, stares and outright leers of most of the women (and some men) in the club, plus more flashes, while Izumo and I undressed. We put on the tight-fit T-shirts, posed for more pictures, and then hurried for the alcohol.

Our first order of drinks had just arrived, when I noticed the newest cop in Station 7, Hayate, nervously fidgeting on his seat, throwing quick, impatient glances at the door and his watch. I nudged Izumo and nodded towards his colleague.

"What's up with him?"

"Ha! It didn't cross my mind before, but I guess now we'll finally see that person!", he grinned.

"Huh?", I frowned. Izumo chuckled.

"Hayate's lover. Remember, I told you about that…"

"…when we were going to the beach, yeah. Huh", I raised an eyebrow, suddenly just as curious as Izumo and just as impatient as Hayate.

The door finally opened, revealing a tall, muscular, handsome guy; he looked vaguely familiar. He smiled at Hayate, closed the distance between them and kissed him sweetly.

Izumo gasped.

"No way!"

"What, what?", I asked, my curiosity piqued.

"That's Inoue! The guy, the fireman who helped me get the last two kids out of the fire."

"Oh…", I just said. "Nice catch for Hayate", I admitted, earning a hard nudge in the ribs from a possessive fiancé.

Apparently, Hidan thought the same – he ogled Inoue, quite openly, but soon a mischievous smile took the place of the judging look. I winced – if I were Hayate, I'd be very suspicious by now; Hidan was obviously up to something.

Surprisingly, someone else also waited for his date. Someone tall, with wild black-and-red hair.

Reiji's whole face brightened when a girl with long auburn hair ran across the club and threw herself right in his waiting arms. He spun her around, then finally stopped and kissed her, long and slowly, gently caressing the side of her face. It was pretty obvious that she wasn't just a random girl, or a first date – they'd had that thing between them running for quite some time if their gestures were any indication.

"Wow…", Izumo said quietly. "I've never seen him like that." Then he suddenly grinned. "The sneaky bastard! He never mentioned that he had a girlfriend!"

As if sensing that we were talking about him, Reiji turned around, saw us watching him and smiled abashedly, a slight flush creeping up his face.

"He is so going into the interrogation room tomorrow", Izumo muttered lowly, eyes narrowed and still fixed on Reiji.

I'd have really liked to say that he was joking…

As more alcohol and more people arrived, the night went on. Tsume laid content and tamed in Ibiki's arms, both of them watching amusedly as Kankuro nagged Kiba about their own wedding. Suigetsu finally came as well, making Hidan too preoccupied to check out other men (and women). Anko, sitting on Gai's lap, was already a bit tipsy.

"Lemme see the ring!", she demanded, drowning her third glass of vodka.

Izumo stretched out his hand, Anko grabbed it and examined the ring.

"But it has no stone!", she exclaimed.

"Eer, yeah, cuz I'm a man, An-chan. Diamonds are _a girl's_ best friends", he winked.

"But when you guys marry it'll be like wearing two wedding rings!", she whined. Izumo raised an eyebrow, as if asking "And?". Anko's thoughtful expression was drowned in a bout of laugher.

"How about that first time Izumo dragged him into the Evidence room?", Kisame reminded.

"Poor Kotetsu looked so shocked", Iruka shook his head, laughing.

"Oh, yeah? Well that was before 'poor Kotetsu' started dragging _Izumo_ into said room after almost every damn ANBU mission", the captain grumbled, making the other guys laugh even harder.

Izumo's hand suddenly grabbed mine and he leaned to whisper in my ear, "Come. I wanna dance."

I smirked, following him. "Dance how?", I asked suspiciously.

He looked back at me over his shoulder and did that half-smile that drove me outta my skin just as the first beats of the song reached my ears.

_[__**A.N.**__ insert __**KMFDM – Ready to blow**__**(dwarves mix) **__here]_

His hands spread on my ass and he grabbed it forcibly, the way he very rarely dared to, and pulled me closely to him. He ground our hips and groins, making me bite back a moan. He purred in my ear, immediately taking one more step closer.

"Izumo… the guys are watching", I said hoarsely, feeling only a faint pang by the memory of similar words, ones I'd said to him in a different club, a long time ago… in another life.

"So? I'm dancing with my fiancée…", he smiled. The uncomfortable feeling in my chest vanished and I smiled back.

_"Static in my head  
Lines blur red  
Got my mind made up  
And my trigger finger ready to blow…"_

My hands slid down his body, cupping his leather clad pert ass and I squeezed his cheeks possessively. He gasped and tried to hide it by burying his face in the hollow of my neck. His arms were now around my shoulders and his hands were playing with my hair. His body swayed in the rhythm, fluidly, back and forth, pressing tightly to mine, encouraging me to follow his movements. And unlike those years ago, I moved in perfect sync with him now; I knew him, I knew how he did things, liked things… He pulled back his head a little and looked up at me through heavily lidded, sultry eyes, lips parted and glossy as he licked them… And I knew he only saw _me_ while dancing with pure abandon – dancing with me and for me… His eyes focused on my lips and he touched them with shaky fingers. Not taking my eyes off him, I slowly licked his fingertips. A wanton moan escaped his parted lips…

_"Finger on the trigger I'm a barrel of a gun  
Ready to blow…"_

I grabbed his hair, just as forcibly as he had grabbed my ass, and pulled hard, making him bend backwards as I bit his collar bone almost savagely. He cried out brokenly and I licked the place I'd bitten, gently, in silent apology…

_"Crying out in vain  
Somebody release me…!"_

He still panted when I pulled him back up and close to me, vertically instead of the uncomfortable bent position. It took him a second to pull himself together and then he was moving just as gracefully as before.

"154", he mumbled.

"Hmm?", I murmured, my lips ghosting over the top of his head.

"…times you've bitten me, _this year_, you vamp-freak!"

I chuckled in his hair, but it turned into a moan when he bit me right back – quickly and sufficiently. He pulled back, inspecting his mark on me, then smirked and nodded to himself.

"Evidently _mine_", he concluded.

I started to respond but he chose this exact moment to thrust up his hips hard. My words died in my suddenly dry throat as our obvious erections obviously grounded right in front of the obviously staring crowd. He grabbed my hair and kissed me hard, making it deep and all-consuming…

"_I'm ready to blow…_"

When we finally pulled back we were both panting harshly, his brow resting on mine. I gulped dryly.

"I am, you know… ready to blow…", I said hoarsely. He chuckled.

"Well I think our friends were graced more than enough with our presence…", he winked.

Just the implication of those words and the promise in his eyes as he pulled me towards the door were enough to make me moan.

**A.N.** * - according to a manga I've read, a yes/no pillow (a sign 'Yes' written on one side, and a sign 'No' written on the other) is a tricky way to tell your partner if they'd get laid tonight ;)


	11. Chapter 11 Home

Chapter 11 – Home

**Kotetsu POV**

The alarm went off. I groaned and reached blindly for it.

"Ugh, make it stop…", I whined pitifully.

My whole body ached; legs and back, and waist and… I wriggled my ass a bit, which almost made see stars.

"Sweet mother of…"

Glimpses of last night swam in front of my eyes. No, there was nothing gentle and sweet in what we did last night… all night long, after we'd gotten back from the club …

_Izumo's graceful back flexed while I was pounding into him from behind… his hands gripped the sheets hard – his arms had given out and he'd half-collapsed on the bed, only managing to keep his hips up… he panted into the pillow but his neck arched back when I hit his prostate especially hard and he was shouting, crying loudly and desperately…_

_"Fuck, yeah…! YEeeeESsssS!.!"_

Loud crush, followed by cursing came from the kitchen – Izumo was up already? Huh… strange…

_His tongue swirled around my cock as if there was nothing else he'd rather suck. He hummed appreciatively. My hand was buried in his hair and I tried not to pull it and not to buck in his mouth… but he was just so good, so good…_

_"Fuck yeah, babe… just like… THAAaT!"_

The sound of his footsteps around the apartment spoke of nervousness… panic even… I frowned…

_My hands gripped the headboard, leaving scratches in the wood while he was thrusting hard inside me. Even after all this time, even as fucking amazing and worth it as he made it, I still felt like a slut with my legs wide open and with him there between them._

_"Hey…", he called._

_I looked up, panting hard, trying to hold back any more whorish cries. As if having read my mind, he leered, flipped one of my legs over his shoulder and thrust hard._

_"Gh..gHaAaAa-ah!…AH!"_

_I swear, I saw the light…_

Another crash and even more cursing came from the kitchen. I sighed and finally stood up, wincing and biting back a groan. Yeah, we hadn't held back last night. There had been nothing "gentle and slow". We went at it like rabbits, like it was our last night together…

And in a way… it was.

Oh. I suddenly realized the cause of Izumo's current panic.

Smiling slightly, I stepped into the kitchen only to see him madly scrubbing the counter. I stepped closer and embraced him from behind. He stopped what he had been doing and leant back for a second, appreciating the closeness. His breathing was uneven; his body was trembling.

"They must have brought the bed already… We should leave for the orphanage in 30 minutes and the deliverers are still not here..!", he took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"It's just… it's today. Finally. You know…?", he said quietly.

Yeah, I knew. Today was the day we'd finally take our boy home. Instead of answering, I just kissed the nape of Izumo's neck.

The doorbell rang and he jumped up, walking briskly in that direction.

"It was about time!", I heard him saying instead of "Hello."

I just smiled and reached for the coffee.

* * *

He was quietly freaking out next to me, wriggling on the seat of his chair. I smirked – payback's a bitch.

"Stop fidgeting", I all but sang out.

"I'm not fidgeting! It's just how I… move."

"Babe… I know exactly how you move…", he blushed furiously, "and that's not like it."

Footsteps and hushed voices sounded near, descending down the stairs, nearing the door of the room where we waited. Izumo suddenly froze next to me.

"What should I say? How should I tell him?!", he panicked.

I gripped his hand and tried to smile encouragingly. "Let me talk, okay?"

"Okay. Yeah", he nodded curtly.

The door opened and Ayame stepped in with Hajime in tow. She smiled in that motherly way of hers before she instructed Hajime to sit on the smaller chair, facing us, and she sat down on the chair next to him. I took a deep fortifying breath and smiled.

"Hey, buddy. How are you today?"

"I am fine, thank you. And you?", he recited like a good child. I felt my smile becoming more natural.

"I'm okay too. Say, Hajime… do you remember when you and I talked about… how one day two fathers may come and say that they want you to be their child?"

He nodded. I took another deep breath. Okay, Kotetsu, this cannot be more difficult than proposing to Izumo.

"Well, you see… Izumo and I came here today to ask you… that is… do you want to become our child?"

He blinked, confused. "Like… forever?", he asked.

"Well… yeah? We want to adopt you, Hajime."

"Like… I will live in your house?"

"Well, it's an apartment actually, but your Grandma has a house with a backyard and… yes. Never mind. In our home, yes", Izumo gabbled, nervously twisting his fingers. "Do you want to?"

"Well… okay", Hajime said slowly.

Izumo and I exchanged a look – that wasn't exactly the reaction we'd been expecting.

"Eer… do you want to come home with us _now_?", I tried.

"Okay."

"…Don't you want to pack your things; want me to help you maybe…?"

"Okay…", he said quietly.

The things he had to pack, the things that belonged only to him and weren't ones he had to share with the other kids, were very few. Most of them were the toys Izumo and I had brought him; I felt a small pang seeing the car toys and the air plane right next to his pillow – he slept with them. He had a few personal sets of clothes and two pairs of shoes, all of which took the space of one bag, plus the toys. I made a mental note to go shopping with him, soon. We'd only bought a few sets of clothes and some underwear, deciding instead to let him choose his own outfits when we officially adopt him.

"You ready, buddy?", I asked. He nodded and stepped out of the room.

There was a small commotion by the door when we were leaving – even though I'd rarely seen him play with the other kids, they all came to say goodbye, wish him good luck, remind him to come visit. Some demanded that Hajime entrust them with a certain toy or a spot on the playing ground or his old bed. Some cried for Hajime and some cried for themselves, that they had to stay here while he was leaving with a new family. Some begged us to take them as well, and I saw Izumo's face twisting with pain and so many other emotions. He tried to tell them that we'd come see them all occasionally, but I could see most of them didn't believe him.

"Now, now, kids! You said goodbye, now's time to let Hajime go home", Ayame said.

There were whines, sobs and a few last waves as the children went back inside the building.

"I'm sorry for that… they just…", Ayame spread her arms, a little helplessly.

"We really are going to come back", Izumo promised. "We'll… bring some clothes, and toys and… we'll bring Hajime along, so they could play. We'll come visit again."

Ayame smiled her motherly smile, patted his cheek gently, bent down to kiss Hajime's brow and then finally looked at me, nodding slightly. "Just be happy, all of you."

Izumo and I nodded, said a last goodbye and headed for the car. Hajime sat dutifully on the backseat, where, in fact, only someone as small as him could fit and where, it turned out, there were no seatbelts.

"I'm buying another car. Big one. Family car. With seatbelts, and airbags, and… ", I grumbled.

"Okay, I got it already!", Izumo hissed out, hands gripping the wheel tightly as he drove so slowly I'd never seen him drive before and glancing every now and then at the mirror, fixed on Hajime's quiet, tiny form.

When we finally arrived home and stepped inside the apartment Izumo and I were so nervous we were shaking all over. Hajime looked around curiously, but still standing close to us, not daring to explore further.

"Eer… I'll… I'll show you your room, Hajime", Izumo said, trying very hard to imitate a friendly smile. Instead, the definition of 'new father panic' was written all over his face.

Hajime stood on the threshold of his new room for about 3 minutes before he finally stepped in, looking around.

"Did you have another kid?", he suddenly asked. Izumo and I exchanged a confused look.

"Uuhm, no… No, Hajime; what made you ask that?"

"Well… the room. It is done…ready…", he was trying really hard to explain himself.

Izumo's eyes widened then turned strangely blank like they did in the moment when he'd just understood something but was fighting to control his emotions.

"We had it done… we made it _for you_, Hajime", he said with a shaky voice. "No other child has lived here and no other child will. All these things are new and are yours. All of them. Only yours."

Hajime nodded, still not really convinced. He sat gingerly on the bed, looked around. And I could just see it in his eyes, how he kept waiting for the catch, the trick. He'd already told us that he didn't wait for a family to come for him. And now that a family _had_ come for him, he just couldn't believe and accept it.

I took Izumo's hand and tugged gently, whispering in his ear. "Come on… give him some time, some space…"

Izumo nodded, still stricken. "We… we'll leave you to explore _your_ room and _your_ toys, Hajime", he said softly. "If you need anything, just call… or come to us… we're right here, okay?"

"I think he got that, Zu", I said, tugging him out of the room. I made him sit down on the couch in the living room, still holding his hand. "Hey", he looked up. "We knew it wouldn't be easy. We knew he's … different from the other kids. He needs time to adapt, that's all."

Izumo nodded miserably; I kissed the knuckles on his hand, like he did to me when I was upset, and stood up to make some tea.

I was just filling the mugs with the herb concoction Izumo's mother had given us, when the door to Hajime's room creaked and opened slowly. He poked his head out, looked around like a kitten in a new home and sniffed. Smiling, I lifted the teapot. "Tea?", I asked.

He paddled across the room and sat on the floor next to the coffee table. "Yes, please", he said quietly.

As I turned back to look for a spare mug (making a note to buy one especially for him), I couldn't stop grinning. I heard Izumo instructing Hajime not to sit on the floor, because he'd catch a cold, and offering a pillow to sit on or the space on the couch next to Izumo. Hajime chose the pillow, for now, but sat closer to the couch.

No matter how you look at it, it was an improvement. Things were slowly beginning to look brighter.

**A.N.** Next chapter will be a lot more emotional, so do not forget to review!


	12. Chapter 12 Second thoughts?

**A.N.** Yo, I know it's been a while, but I'm kinda in the middle of yet another emotional roller coaster and... yeah. Be nice and show some love by reviewing, alright?

Chapter 12 – Second thoughts?

**Izumo's POV**

When we'd first brought Hajime home Jash wasn't there – we'd decided it would be too big of a shock for such a tiny guy like Hajime and we'd asked Tsume to take care of Jash for the day.

We introduced them on the next day.

Hajime's first words when Kotetsu stepped slowly into the living room, with Jash on a short leash, were "You have a pony!" And it was _Jash_ who whined and stepped back as Hajime jumped on him.

Kotetsu had laughed so hard that it took him some time to calm down and explain that Jash is a dog and is not to be straddled. A bit too late though. While Hajime never again tried to ride Jash, he often fell asleep on top of him, using him as a pillow, which Jash patiently endured.

We'd both taken the first week since we'd took Hajime home off, deciding to switch from then on – one week I'll go to work and Kotetsu will stay at home and one week he'd work and I'll stay at home till Hajime settles in properly. We'd picked up a kindergarten – the one where my niece Keiko had gone to, and we'd filled in the documents, but we'd decided to give him some time to get used to us and our home, before we force another shock (such as going to the kindergarten) on him.

On Monday the whole family stood by the front door – first father, second father, dog, kid. No one moved.

"I should go", Kotetsu said, not taking his eyes off Hajime.

Hajime and I, even Jash maybe, nodded.

"I'll be back early, I promise", Kotetsu drawled.

More nods.

"Do you want me to buy you something on my way back? Ice cream? Chocolate? A car toy? A real car?"

That finally made Hajime chuckle a little, even as he shook his head. I smiled, looking at Kotetsu.

"Just go to work. We'll be fine", I said, more confidently than I felt. He nodded, made some half-movement as if he leant to kiss me, but then decided it was too early for Hajime to see that, nodded again and left.

I sighed, looking down at Hajime, who looked up. I smiled.

"What do you want to eat today?", I asked.

So far I knew he liked pancakes, strawberry, blueberry and any other-berry ice cream, cheese, French fries (but we tried to be careful with those), white chocolate; I made a lasagna (with my mom helping me on the phone and demanding to see her grandson _sooner_!) and Hajime loved it for Kotetsu's utter happiness. He hated tomatoes, but ate ketchup, ate cucumbers but only if highly necessarily. He hadn't even tasted the pork, beef and chicken we'd cooked. I concluded that he was a vegetarian. Kotetsu was scandalized and demanded we go see a pediatrician if Hajime doesn't at least try some kind of meat by the end of the week. Otherwise, we experimented with food, trying something new every day, and I was aware that both Kotetsu and I took careful notes of what Hajime liked and what he didn't.

"Something with potatoes?", he suggested now.

"Hmm. Well, Kotetsu is better with them than I am, but I'll try. We'll need to go buy potatoes though. Do you feel like going to the market with me?", he nodded, "Yeah? Let's get you dressed then. Maybe we'd go buy you some more clothes after that, hm?"

Hajime didn't look very enthusiastic about 'some more clothes'. He slept in the plain light blue cotton pajama we'd bought for him (the sleeves and the pants' legs were a bit too long) and wore the few sets of clothes we'd bought in advance without showing any particular fondness for one or another. Kotetsu teased me, saying that I suffer from a 'new mom syndrome', wanting to dress up the kid.

Hajime however dressed and bathed by himself, which always made me nervous – he insisted that they'd taught them how to do those things in the orphanage, but I always wondered if he cleaned himself properly; I was determined to find a way to delicately make sure he washes himself thoroughly. Especially considering how I always had to fix or smooth down his clothes after he'd dressed himself.

Unlike the other kids, who ran around their mothers, creating a commotion at the market, Hajime walked calmly beside me. He didn't ask for anything and I had to observe and _ask him_.

"Do you like strawberries?", I asked, following his gaze; it was one thing that the loved the ice cream with that flavor and another if he liked the fruit (I'd understood that through the ketchup/tomatoes experience).

Hajime nodded. I stopped in front of the market stall and ordered some of the red fruits. While the woman weighed and packed them I explained to Hajime that he should never give strawberries to his other father.

"Why?", he frowned.

"Because he's allergic to them. Erm… that is when something makes you feel ill."

I held back the more scary info that sometimes the things people are allergic to can kill them. Like, in Kotetsu's case.

Hajime nodded and kept walking calmly next to me.

"Okay, I think we're done with the shopping here. So how about those new clothes? Or is there somewhere else you want to go?"

Hajime suddenly stopped walking; he mumbled something, staring at his shoes.

"What?", I asked.

"…The graveyard", he said, finally looking up. "Can you take me to the graveyard, please?"

* * *

**Kotetsu POV**

I felt guilty for having left Izumo and Hajime alone right now. It was a Monday, my family waited for me at home and I had to come to work. Ugh.

I pushed open the double doors of the ANBU room and jumped up a little by the loud bout of applauses. Everyone cheered, Genma even whistled and I noticed that some of the cops – Reiji, Iruka, Kisame, Shikaku and Inoichi, were also present.

"Here comes the new father! Step aside and make way!", Iruka yelled.

I laughed with them all, and even some more at the big poster over my desk with "It's a boy!" written on it.

"Yeah, 'it's' also not a baby, Anko!", I called, making them all laugh again while she fake-pouted before she gave up and giggled. And then, the questions began.

"What's he like? How does he look?"

"Did you pick up a school?"

"Has your mother-in-law-to-be met him already?"

"He's quiet, still a bit shy, has pale hair, dark blond maybe, the most impossible multicolored eyes, pale skin… He's very small, but very brave and… interesting. He can always surprise you. He decided Jash was a pony and tried to ride him", they all laughed again and Tsume shook her head. "We picked a kindergarten, and Tsukimi hasn't met him yet – we plan this to happen next week."

"Woah, and she's okay with that?", Reiji asked.

"Well, we do receive hundreds of demanding phone calls", I admitted, eliciting more smiles, "but we don't want to dump everything, all at once, on him…"

I was just checking my mobile for any phone calls from Izumo, contemplating to call him myself, when the phone actually rang, his name popping up on the display. I smirked.

"Telepathy… Hey, babe, how's it going?"

"…Can you come… to the graveyard… please?"

His voice sounded hollow. I frowned. The cemetery? I thought he'd stopped visiting Shiki's grave – he only went on the anniversary of Shiki's death; and I could tolerate _that_. But now… was he begging for forgiveness again? Or begging for guidance, a blessing?

"…it's Hajime", he said then.

My heart sank; everything around me stopped moving, stopped existing. "What, what is it?!"

"He's fine, just… come… please?"

I was on my way before he even finished his plea.

* * *

Once I reached the cemetery, I called again and he told me the area and the exact alley. The sight that greeted me was not one I'd expected – Hajime was kneeling in front of the middle one of three graves that looked exactly the same, except for the names written on them; he was whispering, talking to the cold marble, while Izumo was quietly going insane a few steps behind him. I closed the distance between us and wrapped an arm around his shoulders before I asked quietly, "What's going on?"

"We were shopping… everything was fine, we were talking about strawberries and in the next moment I ask him where he'd like to go and he says 'the graveyard'! … He asked me if we could bring flowers… 'some happy flowers, like daisies'… We came here, he lit the candles, put down the flowers and… look at the names, Kotetsu! Look at the dates!"

I did; the names didn't sound familiar, but the dates of birth and death told me those were the graves of children. Three children. My eyes widened.

"The kids from the fire", Izumo whispered hoarsely.

I gulped dryly. Izumo's body was trembling slightly.

"I don't know if I can do this!", he suddenly whispered; he sounded panicked. "I wanted this, I wanted him so much, that I didn't even think if _I'm_ ready! I prayed that _you_ are ready, that _we_ are ready, but what about _me_?! Am I ready to take care of this little boy, who comes to talk to his dead friends on the first day I actually ask where he wants to go?!"

He was freaking out, right there in my arms, and I didn't know what to say and how to calm him down.

Someone tugged my sleeve and I looked down at Hajime's multicolored eyes. He tugged again, this time both mine and Izumo's sleeves. We followed him, dumbfounded. He turned back towards the graves and began talking quietly again.

"This is the guys I was talking about", he began; I opened my mouth to correct him, but Izumo squeezed my hand and shook his head; we remained quiet as Hajime continued. "You were right, Momo. A family came, even for me. And I'm sorry you guys died and couldn't wait for your families, but I will come visit with mine and-and we will bring flowers… happy flowers that makes you smile from Heaven. Matsumoto san said you were in Heaven with the angels. Is it fun there? I hope it's okay. I'm okay too, now. Izumo and Kotetsu made a room, just for me. They buy me toys and cook good and have a pony-dog!"

Izumo and I, tears running down on both our faces, choked on a chuckle at the last part of Hajime's description.

"Anyway… I won't forget about you, just because I'm happy now. I'll come visit again…bye now…", he turned around, grabbing Izumo's hand. "We'll come again, right?"

Izumo nodded immediately; his eyes were still wet and shiny but he was smiling. "Yeah. Anytime you want."

Hajime nodded, content with the answer, already leading us back to the car.

"We have to come with Jash. They don't know what a pony-dog is, they have to see him!"

Izumo and I laughed and he bent down to take Hajime, carrying him in his arms. "Sure, we'll take Jash with us. Should we go home now?"

"Yeah. I'm hungry", Hajime declared, lowering his head on Izumo's shoulder. I saw Izumo flinching a bit, surprised, then he hesitated for a moment but in the end he nuzzled Hajime's messy hair, stroking the boy's back with one hand.

"Well, we bought potatoes and maybe Kotetsu will spare us the super secret recipe for his potatoes with cheese", Izumo said, making Hajime giggle. "And we have strawberries for dessert."

"But not for Kotetsu", Hajime added. "Because they make him sick."

"Yep, that's right…"

Walking a few steps behind them, I was sure Izumo's fears and hesitation were gone the minute Hajime grabbed his hand and laid his head on his shoulder. Watching them now – my man, holding my son, walking confidently towards the car, made me feel so incredibly proud… completed.

Ironically, right there in the middle of the cemetery, I realized how amazing life was.

**A.N.** Review and you might get sooner the next -short but funny- chapter of Izumo having to answer his first Top-Embarrassing-For-Every-Parent question :)


	13. Chapter 13 Size matters

**A.N.** So this is the short chapter I talked to you about. Hope you like it, but before that - a small announcement. This story may get longer than planned. How do you feel about another long multichaptered story? I cannot tell yet how many chapters it might have (22 so far, but I have at least a few more ideas), so share an opinion please. Also, writing this becomes harder and harder - it has to have steamy hot scenes for a certain Kinkylittlewolf, deeper plots for La Palice, fluff for Serani, no corny stereotypes for a certain Lord... Uh, it's hard to be liked by you all, guys... Anyway, do not forget to review.

Chapter 13 – Size matters

**Kotetsu POV**

I could see the gear-wheels rolling in Izumo's mind as he observed Hajime carefully. He was obviously plotting something while our unsuspecting son smeared jelly on a loaf of bread. Jash sat on the floor next to Hajime, making puppy-eyes again; Hajime looked down, fell victim of this stare and started giving Jash a piece of jelly-smeared bread.

"No!", I said in the last minute. Hajime flinched, scared of my harsh voice, looking guilty. "No, just… sweet things are bad for him, Hajime, he can't digest… eer… he just can't eat them, that's all."

"I'm sorry", he said quietly.

"It's okay, _you_ didn't know. _Jash_ on the other hand…", I fixed the furball with a stern look. Jash looked down, feigning shame.

Izumo chose this moment to set his plan in motion.

"Hajime", he began nonchalantly, "do you want to go out for a walk; go to the park, feed the ducks…?"

"Yeah!", Hajime's face brightened; he loved walks and loved animals and Izumo knew that. My eyes narrowed as I fixed Izumo with a questioning look. He ignored that.

"But we should take a shower first, you and I. You know, men-bonding…"

I snorted and looked away to avoid his glare. I doubted Hajime knew what such bonding meant (and how in fact it was more like father-and-son going fishing, or hiking or… something other than sharing a bath). Izumo was going mental about Hajime's hygiene, nagging me how we should make sure he washes properly. My opinion ('He smells nice, he must know how to use the soap') was met with a blank look, a huge sigh and a shaking of his head.

Hajime still looked uncertain. Even in the orphanage they'd taken their showers separately and, like I said, he couldn't fathom Izumo's idea of men-bonding. Izumo didn't give up.

"Come on, now, we're both men. You don't have anything I don't have, myself. It's natural, Hajime. Kotetsu and I often share a bath…"

I choked on my coffee. _Those_ shared-showers were a whole _other thing_ and he knew it!

Hajime, blissfully unaware of that, finally nodded and went to take his bathrobe.

Izumo smiled with triumph.

* * *

**Izumo POV**

"Is the water too hot? Cold?"

Hajime shook his head; his hair was flatten by the water and looked darker now, brown instead of dark blond. I was very relieved to note that he washed properly, everywhere. I'd thank Matsumoto san for that when I see her.

Once again, I noted how tiny he was. Was he too skinny? Was Kotetsu right and we had to make him eat meat in order to be healthy? What was the average weight of a child his age? The average height? Was his skin too pale? '_We are so visiting a pediatrician by the end of the week!'_, I decided.

I was a bit surprised to notice that Hajime was observing me as well. More to the point – a certain part of me. He looked towards my groin and then looked down at his own. He frowned.

"Why is your penis bigger than mine?", he asked, blunt as always.

The damn mirrors of the shower cabin (the purpose of which Hajime had asked about, making me blush), showed that I was blushing again. Fuck. It was one of those questions parents hated the most, right? Those awkward questions, like 'where do babies come from'…oh, Kotetsu is so getting _that_ one, if I'm answering _this_ one!

"Eeer… well… that is, mainly… because, you know, my whole body is bigger than yours, so of course my penis is also bigger than yours. As you grow up, your penis will grow too."

Wow. That was cool, Izumo. I'd high-five myself if I could.

Hajime also seemed content with the answer and continued with his shower, only throwing a last jealous look towards my lower regions.

Kotetsu, the bastard, laughed his ass off when I told him later about our little discussion in the bathroom. His smile froze, though, when I told him that he'll be the one giving the-birds-and-the-bees-talk.


	14. Chapter 14 Meet the Kamizuki-s

**A.N.** Now, here's a very emotional ch. 14. Be good when reviewing... I kinda love this chapter, myself.

Chapter 14 – Meet the Kamizuki-s

**Izumo POV**

"The average weight of a 5-year-old boy is 18,5 kg. The average height is 108,10 cm. Hajime's measurements are, respectively, 15 kg and 100 cm. While below the average, they are above the minimum, so Hajime is in no danger."

Kotetsu and I both heaved a relieved sigh.

The pediatrician, Ohayashi Amaya, was everything we could wish for. Calm and collected, she was also my niece Keiko's doctor. In moments like these I was incredibly grateful that I had a sister, who'd already walked the path of finding the best specialists for her child and could now advise me for mine.

Kotetsu cleared his throat.

"We are worried… Ok_, I'm_ worried that he doesn't eat meat. Should we try harder to prepare some kind he'd like…?"

Ohayashi smiled. "It's a good thing that you are ready to work hard and experiment until you find what he wants. But sometimes you should just accept that there are things he doesn't want, even though you're sure that he _should_ want them. You can have a perfectly healthy child, who is a vegetarian, Hagane san."

Kotetsu didn't look very convinced. I patted his hand, resting on the armchair, and smiled to the doctor. "He was born in Suna. They raise little predators there; chop the meat into tiny pieces and feed the babies with it. So, naturally, when the babies grow up, they try to do the same to _their_ babies."

Ohayashi laughed. Hajime, who sat between Kotetsu and me, looked horrified. Kotetsu rolled his eyes.

"That was a joke, Hajime, a joke. Izumo's twisted sense of humor in action", he explained. "I would never make you eat anything you don't want to eat, buddy. Promise." Hajime nodded, still uncertain; he kept throwing sidelong glances at Kotetsu, as if wondering if his new father would try force-feeding him with tiny bits of raw meat, despite his promise.

"Well, I guess that's all for today then?", Ohayashi stood up and we followed her. "If you have any questions, feel free to call me or visit. I'm sure we'll be seeing each other often in the next few months", she smiled knowingly.

"Why?", I frowned, a bit alarmed at the ominous prediction. She chuckled, then leaned and whispered conspiratorially,

"New parents freak out a lot", she winked. "Well, bye for now! Bye, Hajime!", she waved.

He waved back, still hesitantly and still a bit taken aback by the last few minutes of the meeting. Then he sighed heavily, as if having parents like us was a huge burden on his tiny shoulders, and walked a few steps ahead of us, towards the car.

Kotetsu had really gone and bought a 'big family car with seatbelts and air bags'. It was a Volvo XC90, huge enough for a few more kids, comfortable enough for long trips and the most important – the safest brand, according to his research. It had many air bags, seatbelts, things like RSC, DSTC, SIPS, WHIPS and other things I had no idea about, but which had earned this car a Top Safety Pick award. For Kotetsu, that translated into "The safest car possible to drive my son anywhere."

Now he sat behind the wheel and Hajime hopped on the back seat; I closed his door and joined Kotetsu in the front. He fixed the rearview mirror, fixing it on Hajime.

"Seatbelt, young man", he said authoritatively. Hajime put it on. I caught Kotetsu's eyes, smirking.

'_Young man?',_ I mouthed. He smiled lopsidedly.

"Oh, shut up", he said; he sounded calm, but his eyes caught Hajime's again in the mirror.

Hajime was nervous. He tried not to show it, but Kotetsu and I could both see it. Today before his check-up he'd been told that after meeting his new doctor he was going to meet his granny and auntie and cousin (yes, we'd finally given up after my Mom's 100000000th call/demand/whine). Right now Hajime was literally trembling with emotions and adrenaline, sitting alone on the spacious back seat.

"Maybe I should make him company", I whispered to Kotetsu. He threw another glance in the mirror and shook his head.

"We're close anyway."

After less than 15 minutes he pulled over in front of my family home. It must have looked funny how all of us took a deep fortifying breath once the engine stopped.

"Okay. Let's get this over with", I said determinedly, stepping out of the car, followed by Kotetsu.

But not by Hajime.

Kotetsu and I exchanged a look as he slowly opened the back door and we peeked in. Hajime's tiny form was curled there, trembling even harder. Kotetsu's soft expression, full of understanding and sympathy, told me exactly what he thought we should do, even before he suggested it.

"Zu… maybe you should tell your Mom that we'll visit another time. It's been a long, eventful morning."

I nodded. "I…"

But my words were cut short as Hajime's tiny shaking arms reached for me. Automatically, my arms reached back for him, pulled him closer, embraced him, held him tightly.

"Okay?", I asked shakily. I felt him nodding slightly; I kissed his temple and whispered in his ear, "You're safe now. I've got you."

"…I'll get the bags", Kotetsu said quietly.

I admit I was feeling a bit high while I was walking up the path to my family home, holding my son in my arms and feeling my man by my side, carrying all the bags with clothes, toys, favorite blanket and stuff. It was so… normal and in the same time it felt like a dream come true, an impossible dream for someone like me, but then again… there we were. Our family.

I guess my Mom must have seen the exact same thing, judging by the look on her face. She gripped Maria's hand, her eyes fixed on the tiny boy in my arms; tears fell down both their faces, but they were smiling happily. My sister stood next to them, also trying to smile encouragingly while trying to restrain a curious Keiko, jumping up and down next to her Mommy.

Hajime, who was curled in my arms and hiding his face in the hollow of my neck, finally dared to look up, curiously, at the new members of his new family. That immediately caused a loud simultaneous gasp. Hajime hid back his face. I scowled.

"Guys…", I tried to sound stern, but it came out as a soft chiding, thanks to the trembling warmth in my arms.

"I'm sorry, I… He's just so… perfect", my Mom stuttered. Hajime looked up hesitantly, as if surprised by such a description. My mother smiled widely through her tears and tried again, "Heeey, Hajime…. I'm your Granny…"

Her voice trembled and got drowned in more tears. Hajime wriggled in my arms.

"Why is she crying?", he whispered in my ear, worried.

"Oh, Hajime… She's just happy to see you", I whispered back. "She cries because she's happy."

He frowned. "Can people do that?"

I chuckled. "Yeah. Yeah, they can. But you know what…? Do you want to comfort her?"

"Yeah…"

"Would you give her a hug?"

He nodded. My Mom reached out hesitantly. Hajime also hesitated, for a second, then reached back. My Mom took him in her arms, very carefully, and embraced him; she rubbed his back gently, stroked his head; every movement seemed like she tried to believe, to accept that she really held her new grandson in her arms. She had just begun to calm down when Hajime said,

"Don't cry, Granny. I can come hug you anytime you want."

My Mom burst laughing and new tears fell down her face. "That's good to know, Hajime", she whispered. "So good to know…"

She looked at me over his head, with her teary eyes and smiling lips, and mouthed "_Thank you"_.

I know I should be a tough guy, being a cop and all, and I know she'd never expected any grandchildren from me so of course she'd be grateful and happy now that she got one, but those words, not even said out loud, only mouthed, really left me speechless. Something clenched my heart and something warm curled in my belly as I watched my mother step into the house, still holding her grandson as if he was the most precious and fragile thing in the world.

Kotetsu's arm crept around my waist and he kissed my temple, whispering, "Are you okay?"

I brushed off the wetness, gathered in the corners of my eyes. "Yeah, yeah… Just… you know, emotional moment…"

"I know", he just said, smiling, before he took my hand and we followed my family into the house.

* * *

My mother stood by the door to my former room (technically it was still mine and it was left untouched since I'd moved out years ago) and watched her two grandchildren sleeping next to each other on the bed. Her smile widened and she shook her head; I knew what she was thinking.

Just a few hours ago while she had been fussing around Hajime, making pancakes, Keiko had been inspecting her new cousin with narrowed eyes as they both sat at the table. She had been happy at first, expecting a new friend to play with, but now that intruder seemed to attract all of Granny's attention and love. Keiko didn't like that.

My Mom served Hajime the first pancake, already preparing the rest. Keiko, used to receiving that first pancake, always, fumed.

"Grandma", she'd begun with a serious tone, almost managing not to sound like a petulant child. "will you love Hajime more than me from now on?"

"What are you talking about, silly?", Mom asked, serving her the second pancake. "I love you both equally."

"But he got the first pancake!"

"Well, he's younger, Kei-chan, do behave like the older and smarter cousin, will you?"

"I was here first!", Keiko pouted, crossing her arms on her chest. "You can't love both of us as much as you loved me till now – your heart will get swollen and explode!"

My Mom smiled even though new tears had gathered in her eyes. "It kind of feels exactly that way…", she'd said quietly.

Keiko had forgotten all about her worries once her tummy was full of pancakes and Granny had hugged them both at the same time – turns out she can do that, what do you know! Then Keiko and Hajime had gone to play in the backyard and Keiko had realized she could boss him about, being the older and knowing more than him. Suddenly, having a younger cousin seemed cool, when you could command him to "bring me that toy box!" or "you'll seek!" while playing hide-and-seek. Then Mommy read a fairy tale to both of them as they were both instructed to take their afternoon nap – again, there were no double standards for that and as long as Hajime didn't get away with that and had to nap as well, things were cool, Keiko'd finally accepted.

Aiko closed the book and smiled to Kotetsu, who was tucking Hajime in his favorite blanket; Aiko did the same for Keiko and then she and Kotetsu quietly left the room.

"He's an angel, guys", Aiko said.

"Yeah. It sometimes makes me worry…", Kotetsu admitted quietly.

"Worry?", Aiko frowned. Kotetsu fidgeted.

"Well, we got that amazing kid and all… he's so perfect that I sometimes wonder where's the catch, how did we, of all people, manage to get him…"

My Mom rubbed his back soothingly; it looked a bit funny to see her calming _him_ down, considering she barely reached his shoulder height. "You deserve that, Kotetsu; both of you. You deserve him", she assured him. Kotetsu smiled gratefully.

"Now, who wants some coffee?", Mom offered cheerfully.

"I won't refuse", Aiko sighed tiredly.

"Yeah, me too", Kotetsu said; he turned to me and asked, "Coming?"

"In a minute", I said, still standing on the doorstep and watching as Hajime slept peacefully, curled in his blanket. Kotetsu smiled with understanding, kissed me chastely and left.

Hajime wriggled, snuggling closer to Keiko as if seeking more warmth. I was about to enter the room, provide another blanket, turn on a heater or something, when Keiko opened her bleary eyes and stared at Hajime; it looked like she needed a second to remember who he was, but then she sighed, lifted her blanket and threw some part of it over Hajime. Then she closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

I realized I was smiling again as I closed the door and went to have my coffee.


	15. Chapter 15 Parents' worries

**A.N.** Um... thanks for the nice reviews? Keep up with those! ^^

Chapter 15 – Parents' worries

**Izumo POV **

It was Kotetsu's turn to put Hajime to sleep. We'd agreed that we'd take turns – one night he'd be the one reading a bedtime story, the next night is my turn, the third night we do it together; and then it starts again. We had agreed that this way we'd build a better bond with Hajime, both of us, equally. Tonight while he was reading to Hajime I was folding laundry, killing the time until our son fell asleep and Kotetsu joined me in our bed.

He finally stepped into our bedroom, sighing deeply and looking tired.

"Did you read to him?", I asked, putting the clothes away and slipping beneath the blankets.

"Yeah. 'The three little pigs'. He was scandalized. Demands that we buy something called 'Benten'."

"Ben 10", I corrected, laughing. "It's a cartoon and there's a comic book."

"How do you know these things?!", Kotetsu grumbled, joining me in our bed.

"Internet", I just said, wriggling to get comfortable as he spooned me. It sometimes amazed me how we still slept as newlyweds, spooning or facing each other, or at least somehow embracing each other; I didn't dwell on it too much though, since it felt right. And nice, and comfortable in a way I'd never imagined before.

We muttered one last 'good night' and we'd obviously fallen asleep because the next thing I remember is something gently poking my arm.

"Izumo...?"

I opened my bleary eyes and tried to focus them on the tiny figure, waiting in the darkness.

"Hajime?", I turned on the lamp on my nightstand. Hajime blinked and his eyes narrowed from the sudden burst of light. "What, what is it, buddy?"

"I don't feel good…", he muttered. I sat up in the bed, lifted him and made him sit next to me. I touched his brow and my eyes widened.

"You're burning! Kotetsu…!"

He was not only awake, but already dressing, already in his much more sufficient ANBU mode.

"Get dressed and dress him too. I'll drive us to the hospital", he said curtly.

I didn't need to be told twice. I put on some jeans and a sweatshirt and began dressing Hajime in warmer clothes, questioning him in the meantime.

"Does your tummy hurt? Are you feeling sick?"

"No…", he said timidly.

"Are you feeling dizzy, weak?"

"No…"

"Okay… okay. You'll be alright, buddy…"

Kotetsu personally carried Hajime to the car (he decided I'm too freaked out) and fastened all the seatbelts. After that he drove to the hospital so fast that I'm not sure I could have done that even with the Mustang. I sat on the backseat with Hajime, reassuring him how everything will be alright.

Now as I look back we might as well freaked him out by freaking out, ourselves.

We burst into the hospital, stopped in front of the information desk; we must have made quite a spectacle – me holding Hajime like a baby, Hajime blinking almost scared by our reaction to his situation, Kotetsu looking menacing right behind me.

"I need a doctor for my son!", I demanded.

The young nurse blinked once, bewildered, but then quickly called for a doctor, all the while questioning us about Hajime's symptoms and asking about his personal pediatrician.

The doctor arrived and I began explaining Hajime's symptoms to him and the nurse while Kotetsu called Ohayashi.

* * *

**Kotetsu POV**

They gave us a room and put up Hajime in it. I'd just finished my call to Ohayashi and made a move to follow Izumo and Hajime, but the nurse lifted a hand, trying to stop me.

"Only the family", she said firmly.

"I AM the…!", I started angrily.

"He's the other father, we're a couple, Hajime's adopted!", Izumo blurted out, already on edge because of Hajime. The nurse's eyes widened a bit and she stepped away quickly, apologizing profusely.

"I am so sorry, sir! My mistake… I didn't understand… you may go to your son", she stammered as I passed by her, entering the room.

They examined Hajime; the doctor auscultated Hajime's chest, making him inhale and exhale, they took his temperature, checked his throat and even took some blood for some tests, just to be safe like they assured us. Hajime trembled like a baby bird while the doctor examined his naked chest – he was obviously cold, but endured everything patiently, even the needle. His eyes filled with tears when they took the sample of his blood (Izumo flinched next to me, stifling a gasp and half-bolting to 'save' his son at the sight of Hajime-and-tears) and even though he always claimed to be a grown up boy he didn't mind his fathers cuddling him after that.

Ohayashi arrived, smirking and totally unsurprised by the late hour and the panicked call.

"New parents", she reminded us, absolutely having expected that to happen.

She and the hospital doctor assured us it was only a slight fever and nothing to over-worry about, but they advised us to spend the night at the hospital, just to be safe. Promising that he'll be right back, Izumo went to fill in the documents while I remained with Hajime.

"I'm sorry", he muttered, curled on the bed under four blankets.

"What for?", I asked quietly, moving back the damp hair on his brow.

"For making you worry. I didn't have to tell. You got so scared…. I'm sorry", he said again, looking at the sheets. And reminding me of someone who'd looked exactly the same not that long ago.

"You're just like your father", I smiled, shaking my head.

Hajime looked up, his brow furrowed in confusion. I realized he probably wasn't used to calling us like that yet and maybe tried to fathom how he could possibly be like the biological father he'd never met. I opened my mouth to explain what I'd meant, but Hajime was faster.

"How am I like you?", he asked with child's honesty and sincerity, like he was really trying to understand.

…Oh. Wow. I mean… He was seeing me like his father; like, already, that was his first association with the word.

I realized I was grinning like a fool, but then I remembered I still had to explain.

"No, I mean, like your other father."

"Izumo?"

I smiled wider, nodding. "He tends to apologize for nothing."

"Oh…", Hajime just said.

Just then Izumo walked into the room. By the way he was unsuccessfully trying to hide his very wide smile I knew he'd heard the conversation.

In a way, it felt like that day we'd officially become dads.

* * *

We spent the night in the hospital, like the doctors had offered, just to be safe. Hajime woke up twice from nightmares – the first was about tarantulas and the second about the fire. I'd promised to stay awake and keep watch for any spiders and Izumo had taken him in his arms, holding him like a baby, promising to save him again if there's another fire; Hajime had fallen asleep in his arms and it had taken Izumo some time before he acknowledged that he had to put him back on the bed.

In the morning Hajime was so tired and sleepy that he let Izumo dress him; I watched as Izumo carefully put on his tiny T-shirt, then a hoodie and the jeans, the jacket, socks and shoes, all the while talking to him, preventing him to fall back to sleep before Izumo dressed him. Once Hajime was dressed, Izumo allowed him to doze off and carried him in his arms to the car. We managed to fasten the seatbelts around our sleeping boy, but Izumo stayed with him on the backseat, keeping an eye on him.

Izumo's mother called five times while we were in the hospital, asking about her grandson, so once we got back home we called her to say he was alright. She came by an hour later with some vegetable soup. Hajime was still sleeping at that time, so she'd only watched him for a while before she left.

When Hajime woke up he dutifully ate the vegetable soup Izumo re-heated and then called Granny (Izumo dialed the number, giving him the phone to talk) to thank her; even to us, men, he made such a cute sight, so I suppose Izumo's mother might have burst into happy-tears again.

Hajime 'educated' me about that Ben 10 guy and we sat watching the cartoon for about 15 minutes before Izumo and I exclaimed in unison, "I can't believe you like this!"

Hajime giggled at the simultaneous speech and then asked, "Why, what did you watch when you were kids?"

"Biker Mice from Mars!", I said immediately.

"Ninja Turtles", Izumo said in the same time.

Hajime had some faint idea about "those things with the pizza names" and no idea about the Biker Mice. Izumo and I exchanged a look, sighed and began Hajime's education on classic animation.

**A.N**. Biker Mice from Mars was MY favorite animation as a kid :D Modo was totally my favorite! :D


	16. Chapter 16 Child's worries

**A.N.** First: thanks for all the nice reviews or those offering constructive criticism (La Palice). Then: to the IDIOT, signed TWICE as Guest (in which case I cannot respond to the review): Hajime is 5 years old, like I have mentioned a FEW TIMES in the story you should have read, before reviewing! Also, I refuse to accept criticism from someone who can barely write/does not care and check what they write. If you have nothing good/meaningful to say or suggest, DO NOT review. Like now, any following reviews by you will be deleted. Be blessed and have a nice life! ^^

To all the others: feel free to review for the sake of anything you have liked (or particularly disliked, but only if it's something of use to me). My writing style improves (or not) on its own and not because you demand it; my first language is still Bulgarian and not English, but hey, I do try for you...

Chapter 16 – Child's worries

**Kotetsu POV**

The alarm went off, earlier than usual. I stopped it quickly and spent a moment just laying there in our bed; Izumo barely stirred. I turned to kiss his shoulder and muttered, "I'll start the breakfast."

He murmured something in acknowledgement.

I stood up and crept quietly in the kitchen; I turned on the coffee machine; cracked a few eggs, stirring them, chopped some bacon and quickly fried the breakfast Izumo and I were gonna share. The coffee was ready by the time I was done and I put some water to heat in the microwave for Hajime's cocoa drink.

Izumo walked out of our bedroom and quietly opened the door to Hajime's room; he silently crept inside and I saw him kneeling next to the bed. He smiled, still sleepily and bent to kiss Hajime's brow, barely visible under the blankets; he gently rubbed the blanket covered shoulder and whispered something. The tiny form in the bed stirred, indicating Hajime was awake.

Izumo walked out of Hajime's room, giving him time to properly wake up and dress. He came to me, kissed me chastely and went to fill his coffee mug. His hand was trembling just a bit, imperceptible for someone who didn't know him. Well, I did know my man and could always tell when he was nervous. My hand covered his and squeezed reassuringly; he looked up, kind of questioningly and I smiled with encouragement. He smiled and squeezed back just as Hajime stepped into the kitchen and climbed on the high stool next to the kitchen counter. I was surprised to see he was still in his pajamas; judging by Izumo's face he was surprised too.

"'Morning, champ", I greeted, earning back a weak 'good morning' as I put his cup of cocoa in front of him.

Izumo and I exchanged a look. He cleared his throat.

"Is something wrong, Hajime?"

He shook his head, messy dark blond hair swaying with the movement.

"Why aren't you dressed?", Izumo pressed.

Hajime played with the handle of his cup, looking down, avoiding our eyes. He shrugged a little.

"Do you want me to choose your clothes for you?", Izumo offered. Hajime nodded quickly. He heaved a big sigh and finally looked up, serous. "It's important", he just said. Izumo frowned a little.

"That you… look good today?", he tried, drawling the words.

Another nod. "Tsubaki san said first impression is important. When parents came to the orphanage all the kids dressed in new clothes, not those we wore in the sandbox. And we had to take another shower and be clean."

Izumo smiled. "Yeah. This is true, first impression is important… Okay, then, I'll choose your clothes and you may take a shower after you're done with your breakfast."

Hajime nodded again; Izumo went back in his bedroom to choose presentable clothes and I opened the fridge, pulling out the breakfast I had prepared for Hajime last night after Izumo had put him to sleep. I served the bento with the figure of his favorite hero in it, which had almost driven me crazy while I was preparing it, and waited for his reaction.

Hajime blinked, something between sleepy and confused, staring at the bento box.

"Erm… it's supposed to be Ben 10", I explained dumbly.

Izumo, just stepping back into the kitchen, put a hand on Hajime's shoulder, so nonchalantly as if he did not notice the tense atmosphere at all. "Yeah, Kotetsu did it himself."

"Because… your first day in the kindergarten and I… wanted it to be special…", I said, dumbly again.

"Isn't it awesome?!", Izumo exclaimed, an example of both enthusiasm and coolness.

Maybe Hajime didn't like bento-s. I should have asked him, instead of jumping to conclusions. I was just about to say something like 'you don't have to eat it' when Hajime quietly slid off from the stool. He came to me and just hugged me, as hard as he could. I had a suspicion that explaining his emotions with words was almost as hard for him as it was for me, but then he said quietly, "Thanks, Dad."

He took the bento box, holding it carefully, no doubt with the intention to bring it to the kindergarten, even though they provided food for the kids there, and went to get dressed in the clothes Izumo had selected.

I stood there, frozen, blinking, trying to comprehend those two little words.

"_Thanks, __**Dad**_."

Izumo's hand squeezed my shoulder and I looked up to see his eyes shining with so much love and understanding that it almost made me want to cry. He was smiling, but said nothing – just squeezed once more and left, giving me time and space to comprehend this absolutely perfect moment.

* * *

Hajime looked even smaller, sitting on the backseat of the car. He looked timid. Not exactly nervous as he had been when he'd met his Granny for the first time. He actually looked kinda sad.

Izumo fidgeted next to me. He opened his mouth a few times, ready to suggest that we go back home and he'd take another week off from work, because, really, what is one more week if Hajime's happy?! In fact, I was this close to agree with that, turn back and go have a fun afternoon in the park with Hajime.

But no, he had to get used to going to the kindergarten, because he'd have to go to school later. He'd meet new friends, learn new things, be more ready for first grade…

I knew all that, but looking at my son, standing on the path leading to the kindergarten, his backpack almost bigger than him, I felt like the biggest scum of a father, leaving him there, alone and vulnerable, and just look at how much smaller he is, compared to the other kids!

"Hello, you must be Hajime", a young woman greeted him; he nodded miserably. She extended a hand and he reluctantly shook it. "I'm your teacher, Yumi sensei", she smiled warmly to him, then turned to us. "And you must be Hajime's parents."

We nodded, shaking her hand and introducing ourselves with our names. She didn't seem surprised we were both men. She must have been warned. She looked nice and understanding as she examined our faces.

"Usually, parents come to take their children around 5 p.m. … but you may come get him earlier, especially the first few days", she said delicately.

We thanked her and she nodded, ushering Hajime into the kindergarten. When he was about to disappear behind the door though he turned back and gave us such a miserable, begging, puppy-eyed look, that Izumo immediately bolted in that direction. And it took all my will to grab his shoulder and say firmly, "They warned us. Today is the hardest part. Just… endure for a few more hours."

He gave a sharp nod, turned back and quickly got into the car.

* * *

"We have a job near the border. I'll need Anko, Gai and…", Genma's eyes stopped on me, saw me nervously tapping a pen onto my desk, plus a nervous stamping of my foot, and quickly dismissed me. "…Asuma."

Asuma, Anko and Gai followed Genma to the changing rooms to get into their uniforms and put on the masks. Tsume sat nonchalantly on my desk, smirking.

"First day in the kindergarten?", she asked knowingly. I nodded vigorously. She chuckled. "I remember Hana's first day there. I was a cop in another station back then. The captain sent me home after just a few hours, I was _that_ freaked out!" I looked at her unbelievingly. She laughed again. "What? You may know me as a bitch now, but I've also been a first-time parent."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't think you're a bitch. Just… tougher", I shrugged.

She smiled, shaking her head. "Parenthood doesn't care for image."

Yes, it obviously didn't. I sighed. Tsume smiled again and stood up.

"Come on. Some training might help you now", she suggested.

I dragged my feet, following her.

* * *

It was the longest day of my life, I swear!

After the training with Tsume I wrote some reports I'd been postponing for the unforeseen future, helped Kakashi take care of a minor task just outside of the city and was back at the station at 4 p.m. … sitting at my desk, stamping my foot, tapping nervously with a pen onto the desk. Kakashi gave me a blank look from across the room. He heaved a sigh and drawled, "Just get the hell out of here."

When I stepped through the double doors of ANBU's room, the first thing I saw was Izumo, leaning on the opposite wall with his arms crossed on his chest, waiting for me. We looked at each other, smiling lopsidedly.

"The captain chased me away", he confessed.

"Kakashi shooed me off", I smiled back.

He smirked, nodding to the exit. "Let's go."

* * *

Izumo strode, a few steps ahead of me, through the hallways of the kindergarten. He looked determined to get to the room where Hajime was, as soon as he could. We passed by a mother and a small girl who waved a scribble, obviously supposed to be a picture of the mother and the kid.

"I made this all by myself, Mommy, the teacher only wrote my name and said I should become an artist!", the girl said. I thought I heard Izumo snorting.

He stopped in front of the door, took a deep breath and knocked politely before we stepped in.

The first thing we saw was Hajime, curled on a ball beside the window, staring outside. He looked anxious and a little desperate. The other kids were playing, running and chasing each other in the room but our son didn't take his eyes off the window.

The teacher looked a bit worried when she turned to us. She opened her mouth, as if to explain something, but just then Hajime turned around and saw us. His eyes widened, his breath hitched, he jumped from the windowsill and ran towards us as fast as he could. Izumo and I both knelt and Hajime somehow managed to throw himself at both of us, throwing an arm around each of his fathers' necks. We both hugged him automatically; that's when we noticed how his body shuddered with his quiet sobs. He was shaking badly, crying in that honest way, not loudly and whiny and demandingly, but quietly and heartbreakingly, the way it really made one's heart ache.

He'd waited for us, all day long; only he'd looked through the wrong window – the parking lot was on the opposite side of the building. He'd been scared we wouldn't come for him.

We both hugged our son hard, but Izumo looked like he was clutching onto Hajime for dear life. And I knew him enough to know that he was blaming himself.

"I knew it was a mistake… too soon… maybe we should…"

We looked up to see the teacher shaking her head vehemently, looking stern.

"… with us…just tomorrow..?", Izumo tried. She shook her head again, an obvious 'no'.

The teacher sighed. "It's hard for all kids, in the beginning; as it is for the parents as well, by the way. As long as he knows you'll come for him, it's okay. Right, Hajime? See, your dads came to take you home…"

Hajime sniffled and snuggled closer. Izumo looked ready to take him away and create a perfect dreamland for him. He stood up, holding Hajime in his arms, but Hajime's fist balled hand didn't let go of my jacket as well; I ended up replacing the jacket-hold with my own hand so Hajime snuggled in Izumo's embrace, but held onto my hand as well. In that awkward position, we walked towards the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Hajime", the teacher said meaningfully. I nodded, indicating we'd got that.

Many stares followed us as we stopped by his locker to get his backpack and then strode back through the same hallways: one father holding the kid, the second father holding the backpack and the kid's hand over the first father's shoulder, walking to the car.

And that's how our first day of kindergarten came to an end.


	17. Chapter 17 Parenthood

**A.N.** First, I'd like to thank to those, who review regularly, for their continued support - I really appreciate this, guys! Then, I'd like to inform you and appologize for that, but from now on updates might take a bit longer, since I have a lot on my poor head now - like a new job, a master thesis to write aaand if I can squeeze it - a photo course and a photo exhibition... if I manage to find some time to take some really good photos... So, bear with me and please continue to support your poor Author... Arigato.

Chapter 17 – Parenthood

**Kotetsu POV**

It was a warm and sunny Saturday. We sat on a bench by the playing ground at the orphanage, watching as Hajime was running around with his old friends. A slight, dreamy smile shone on Izumo's face as he supervised the chase from aside.

"How's he doing at the kindergarten?", Ayame asked.

"He got used to it, I think; little by little. We still pick him up earlier, though his teacher started hinting that we should start picking him up at the normal time", Izumo said.

Ayame nodded. Smiling, she turned to face us better. "And you? How is it, parenthood?"

"…Amazing", Izumo said; I just nodded, unable to elaborate better.

Izumo had recently started his own campaign, encouraging adoption. He had started nagging the guys at the station, urging them to at least consider the option. Iruka had cut him out immediately, having already adopted and raised one little (loudmouthed and energetic) sunshine; Reiji had been a little scared by that enthusiasm and said it was too early for him and his girl; Kisame had given Izumo one of his Grumpy-cat-blank-looks, saying "No"; Shikaku didn't even want to hear about another child; Itachi and Kakuzu were out of question and suggesting adoption to Hidan was disturbing in itself. The captain had looked strangely interested though… and Genma looked strangely pale and jumpy these last few days.

Izumo also created a Facebook group, called "Adopt happiness" and posted all kinds of stories (ours and other people's) about families who had adopted a kid, about the needed documents, explanation of the procedure and encouragement how to go through it. He had over 1000 fans in just a few weeks.

"Thank you for all that you do", Ayame said now. "And I don't just mean the toys and clothes that you donate to us and Hajime coming to play with the others. I don't just mean the Facebook page and other encouragement. I mean all of that. Thanks… for who you _both_ are", she said, looking pointedly at me as well. I looked down.

Personally, I think Izumo did all the adoption-encouraging-campaign; he was more enthusiastic, fought and explained more, even showed his emotions better. When I'd dared to say that however he'd grabbed my face, looked at me frankly and said, "Do you think I'd have done that, been able to do that, without you by my side?"

Izumo half-smiled, shrugging almost modestly, then checked his watch and tsk-ed.

"It's been nice to see you and I promise we'll come again soon, but now we need to go shopping", he stood up and raised his voice, so our son could hear him, "Hajime, we're going!"

Hajime stopped in the middle of his running, hung his head and dragged his feet towards us. The other kids followed him, whining and pleading for "just five more minutes!" Izumo chuckled, promised that we'll come again (again) and took Hajime's hand, waving a goodbye with his free hand.

* * *

Hajime was more than annoyed, more than bored and dejected. He'd been dragged by his fathers to try on and buy yet more clothes.

Once we'd stepped into the shop Izumo said he'd spotted a friend and went to say hello, leaving us to "look around, fix on something and wait for him for just a second". With Hajime in his ultimate "Do I have to?" mood, I took the matter in my own hands, looking for a shop assistant. I spotted a woman in the shop's uniform and decided to ask her directly.

"Excuse me…"

"Hello, how can I help you?", the shop assistant, a young cheerful girl, asked as I came near her.

"Yeah, hi… um, I need clothes for my son", I motioned towards Hajime. "He's 104 cm tall, 17 kg, likes bright colors – mostly blue and green, maybe yellow, but nothing black, brown and grey."

She blinked. I frowned.

"What?", I asked.

"O-oh! Excuse me… that was just… very detailed explanation for a father. No offense, but it's usually the mothers who know the exact measurements and preferences of the child. And I don't think I've heard even a mother giving such a detailed info."

I smiled a bit. "Well, you see…"

"How's it going, babe?", Izumo's possessive arm suddenly slid around my waist and he looked challengingly at the shop assistant. "Any luck with our boy's new wardrobe?"

The young woman gasped and then smiled knowingly. "Oh, I see now…"

"See what?!", we both asked, slightly alarmed.

She glanced at Hajime, who looked distracted by a baby in a stroller, and whispered, "He's adopted, right?"

"Yeah. And he's aware of that, no need to whisper", Izumo said, still on edge. "So, what did you 'see'?"

She smiled again. "Usually, I can always tell the adopted kids from the others. And their parents. You know, the way you talked about him, the small details, like colors, that you knew about him? Biological fathers rarely know them. And of course every parent loves their child, don't get me wrong, but… adopted children are… special."

Izumo and I both relaxed.

"Yeah… yeah, I know we sometimes freak out around him and we try not to spoil him too much, but… He was like a gift for us, you know…", Izumo shrugged, now smiling.

"I know", the woman said, smiling gently. Then she clapped her hands and said cheerfully, "So! Blue and green and a bit of yellow! Let me show you the shirts first. Eerm…?", she hesitated, looking at him and then at us, questioningly.

"Hajime", I hinted.

"Hey, Hajime! My name is Lucy. I'll try to help you and your dads choose clothes for you. Do you have a favorite superhero?"

Izumo leaned to whisper in my ear, "We'll be shopping here _a lot_."

I nodded in agreement.

* * *

It was a Monday and sure enough the wretched day had shown itself in all its awful glory – it was raining, it was cold and it had taken extra convincing to make Hajime go to the kindergarten.

Apparently, all the ANBU's kids were like that.

"Half an hour! 'Daddy, don't go' – 'Daddy has to go to work, baby' –'But Daddy, I'll miss you!'… And the teacher glares at me and Ai cries and I just stand there like an idiot!", Shikamaru, Shikaku's son and our newest colleague in ANBU drawled.

"I know what you mean", Asuma nodded. "Kurenai made me drop Hiru at the kindergarten today. He's not usually that whiny, she doesn't let him be like that, but with me, he behaves like a total brat…"

Anko suddenly bolted from where she sat at her desk and ran through the double doors. She looked upset. Tsume, with uncharacteristically soft expression on her face, stood up and followed her. I frowned and made a note to ask her later what was going on.

The good opportunity was later that evening. It was Izumo's turn to pick Hajime up from the kindergarten, so I had come to work with my bike (followed by Izumo's ever-present scowl as he saw me off in the morning). Tsume and I allowed ourselves a few minutes at the Speed freaks' usual spot.

"Hey", I said as we were taking a break from the riding, "what's up with Anko?"

She heaved a sigh and for a second looked hesitant to tell me, but then she finally said, "You haven't heard it from me and I forbid you to tell that to anyone, even Izumo!", I nodded; Tsume sighed again and finally told me, "She wants a baby, Kotetsu. Fights for that really hard. The doctors tell her that there's no medical problem, but… she can't get pregnant, even though she and Gai have been trying for months. And, seeing as he already has a son and obviously has no problems… she blames herself."

I winced. I felt really bad for Anko. She was smart and funny and a good friend. I wished I could help her…

And maybe… maybe I could. I just had to find the right way to suggest it.


	18. Chapter 18 The L-word

**A.N.** So, my life is still hectic, I'm still annoyed at your whining, but I still damn love you on some level, I guess, so here's a chapter. Feast and applause! LOUDLY! (meaning you will damn well review or else...!)

Chapter 18 – The L-word

**Kotetsu POV**

"…Gretel emptied her pinafore until pearls and precious stones ran about the room, and Hansel threw one handful after another out of his pocket to add to them. Then all anxiety was at an end, and they lived together in perfect happiness."

I closed the book with a soft thud and smiled to my son. Hajime, however, was frowning.

"This grim guy talks and writes strangely", he observed.

I chuckled. "_Those Grimm brothers_ have lived a long, long time ago." He looked like he was contemplating that info, so I left the book on its shelf and leant over the bed. "Come now, hug and good night."

He reached out his arms, hugged me (more like squeezed my neck) and snuggled back in the blankets I tucked around him.

"Good night, Dad. I love you."

I froze. Not for the first time in my life, I felt like someone had hit my head with a brick. The last time I'd felt like that was when Izumo had first brought up the matter of adoption. No, wait… the last time had been when Hajime had first called me Dad. My chest tightened to the point of aching, my head felt light and hazy, I felt dizzy…

He blinked innocently, waiting for an answer. I cleared my throat… several times.

"I… yeah, yeah… me too…", I choked out, almost running out of his room.

I walked into our bedroom, still in a daze, sat on the edge of the bed and raked a trembling hand through my hair. Izumo closed his own book and sneaked closer, hugging me from behind.

"What did you read to him?", he asked.

"Hansel and Gretel", I answered, still dizzy. I could almost _feel_ him frowning.

"Isn't he too young for the Grimm's Fairy tales? …Kotetsu?"

"…He told me he loved me."

"…Oh."

"Right. Oh."

"Were you… able to respond?"

He knew me too well. Even the delicate way he asked that, knowing I probably hadn't been able to react adequately, showed it.

I shook my head, feeling like the worst father ever. He hugged me tighter and leaned to whisper in my ear.

"It's okay. I'm sure he knows you love him…"

I nodded curtly and let him pull me on the bed, spoon me and offer me his silent support.

* * *

Hajime poked his food with the fork, barely eating. He looked gloomy and miserable but when Izumo asked him what was wrong, he just shrugged… but before he did that I caught him glancing at my direction, for the briefest moment.

Fuck. The hell with Izumo's attempt to comfort me last night; Hajime knew nothing. What's more, he not only didn't know that I loved him… he thought I didn't.

Izumo sighed and reached for his jacket. I jumped from my chair.

"I'll drive him today!", I said. Hajime and Izumo both blinked, confused. Izumo however, knowing me the way he did, understood immediately – he only nodded, smiled to me and went to check Hajime's backpack.

Great. Now I only had to figure out how to ignore my upbringing, my fears and emotional disabilities, my whole self, and tell my son that his father loves him.

* * *

The ride to the kindergarten took much less time than it usually took. Hajime sat quietly on the backseat, instead of enthusiastically telling me about his dream, about the latest game he'd learnt, like he usually did. Then we stopped in front of the kindergarten and he jumped from the car; I jumped after him, catching him in the middle of the path.

"Hey, hey…! Wait up… We need… I need to tell you something", I said, kneeling in front of him.

I wondered where to begin with, how to explain it to a child who, thankfully, was loved by many people who weren't afraid to show it.

"Look, buddy…", I sighed, still fighting with the words, but then took a deep breath and continued. "You know that… the country where I was born… well, the people there were just a bit... a bit more… stern. This is the way I was raised and taught, Hajime. That's why it is hard for me to… express some things. To say some things. I… really, really … love you, with all my heart… It's just hard for me to say it. Do you understand?"

His face brightened a bit. He nodded and I tried to smile.

"Let's make a deal then. I'll teach you something; do you know how people who can't hear or talk communicate?", he shook his head. "It's called sign language. Instead of speaking, people use hand signs. Like that."

I pointed at myself, crossed my arms like an "X" on my chest and then pointed at him. I did it a few times while he repeated the movements slowly until he nodded, having memorized them. I smiled.

"This means 'I love you'", I said.

Hajime's whole face lit up and he grinned. It's funny how that warmed my heart every time he did it. He threw himself at me, hugged me hard, said "thanks, Dad!" and ran off. I watched him running towards the front door of the kindergarten where the teacher waited for him (with suspiciously shiny eyes), then I stood up and turned back, walking to the car.

"Daddy!", Hajime yelled again, across the whole yard. I turned back. He was standing right next to the teacher, still grinning widely; he pointed at himself, crossed his arms and pointed at me. I grinned back and repeated the signs. He waved and stepped into the building, followed by the deeply touched teacher, wiping the tears off her face.

* * *

That night Izumo lay on my chest, drawing abstract designs on my skin with his fingers. He was quiet but I could tell he wanted to tell me something, just wondered how to begin.

"I talked to Hajime's teacher this afternoon when I picked him up", he finally said.

"Yeah? What did she say?"

He wriggled a bit in my arms. "Nothing I didn't already know…"

"Hmm?"

He looked up, right in my eyes, with that dreamy look that secretly made my insides melt (and I will never confess that!). He pushed aside a stray lock of my hair and said quietly, "She just told me what an amazing partner I have."

It was my turn to look aside (probably blushing, damn it) and shiver uncomfortably. "She eer… told you about the scene this morning, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"…damn it…"

He smiled lopsidedly, with that damn insides-melting half-smile of his and then asked quietly, "…Can I say it?"

I didn't ask him what he meant. I knew. I just shrugged a little, still looking away. He put a finger under my chin and made me look at him. He was still smiling; his eyes were strangely glassy. He took a deep breath.

"I know you don't like me saying it. I know you find it awkward and don't know how to respond. But it's so strong, and only keeps getting stronger… it's so all-consuming… that I just have to say it. … I love you, Hagane Kotetsu. The way I haven't loved any other man in my life. And every single day, I love you more…"

My chest tightened again and my throat clenched. "…fuck, Zu…", I choked out.

He chuckled. "It's okay", he said. I shook my head, again – trying to look away.

"It's not… it's not that I don't like you saying that… quite the opposite in fact… I just, I…"

He smiled, caressing my cheek. "It's okay, I know…"

"Do you?"

"Hmm?"

"That I… do… too… you…"

His smile widened. "I know."

"…I really do", I mumbled.

He chuckled again. "I know, silly. I don't need words to see it in everything that you do, every day…", he murmured in my lips, leaning down to kiss me.

Telling someone the L-word might still be very hard for me… but at least I was grateful that I had found a way to "say" it to my son… and I had also found someone who knew me enough to not need me say it…


	19. Chapter 19 What all men usually do

**A.N.** First of all, I'd like to thank you ALL for the great reviews you keep leaving me (and the ones you left the last time, even though I wasn't able to answer them). Really, guys, your support means a lot for me and I only hope you'd continue supporting me and reading/reviewing this story even if I update it less often... My hectic life will be just that (an utter insanity) for at least two more weeks... then I hope I'd be able to write for fun (and for you) again... hopefully... Once again, thanks for all the support. You're great and I'm greateful for having such awesome friends. Arigato and Благодаря :)

**P.S.** ... ( :( she knows why I pout)

Chapter 19 – What all men usually do

**Izumo POV**

"I don't understand", Hajime declared, out of the blue, as he sat at the table coloring a Ben 10 print.

And, even though I didn't know it back then, those memorable words were the trigger for one of the most important things I have done in my life.

"Hmm? What don't you understand?", I asked, unaware of what was to come.

"You and Dad live together."

"…Yeaaah?", I drawled, suspiciously now.

"You love each other."

"Yes. Wha-…?"

"Why aren't you married?"

"Wha-…?! Uhm… h-how… do you know we are not?"

"I asked Dad."

"O-oh. And... what did he say?"

"That you were "engaged, in a way". How can you be 'in a way', Daddy?"

I frowned. "I wonder…" What did he mean?!

"How do people engage?"

I smirked at his choice of words but responded anyways. "Well, the man usually asks the woman to marry him. Falls on one knee in front of her and offers her a ring. That's what your father did for me, too."

"But you aren't a woman."

How perceptive. I smiled. "No, I'm not."

"How do men engage?"

Huh. How indeed…?

"Eerm…I'm… not sure."

"Daddy, you are very stupid."

"E-excuse me?!"

"The man offers, right?"

"Right…?"

"So, when they are both men, they should both offer, silly!"

…Huh?!

"Dad waits for you to ask him too, Daddy! That is why you guys are not married!"

…Well, fuck me…

"…and I don't want to be the child of unmarried guys, Daddy. Do something, quick", my 5 years old son demanded.

"…Okay…?", I said dumbly.

Hajime nodded, content with the answer, and returned to the coloring.

* * *

**Kotetsu POV**

I dragged my feet, climbing the stairs. Thank Kami sama, Izumo had called to say that he'd pick Hajime up tonight, even though it was my turn. I was so tired, beaten, half-asleep even, that I could barely walk – we'd had a day-long mission near the border of the country.

I unlocked the door, stepped in; the travel back slid from my shoulder and I toed off my shoes.

"Yo, I'm ba-…"

…The hallway was lit with small candles, leading to the living room; it smelled of lasagna and chocolate cake. I panicked – dear Kami sama, was it an anniversary?! The day we met, the day we got together, the day we got Hajime…?!Kami help me, he'd kill me if…!

Someone cleared his throat, making me look around and realize I was already in the living room, having followed the candles; the living room itself was lit with yet more small candles. I looked up, saw him and gulped dryly.

Izumo wore a black dress shirt, grey vest and grey trousers. His hair was free and he was smiling nervously.

"Hi", he just said; his voice was hoarse.

I nodded dumbly and then just asked straight, "What's going on…?"

He cleared his throat. "Well… you see… like our genius son reminded me, there are some things that all men usually do. It is expected and only right that… when two people live together, love each other and have a child together…Uhm. What I'm trying to say is… you proposed to me. You're a man. But I'm a man too. I should… and I _want_ to…"

"The knee, Daddy, the knee!", someone hissed from behind the couch. Izumo snorted; I'd probably have laughed as well, but was too stunned at the moment.

Izumo knelt. He knelt on one knee; and looked up. He opened his mouth…

"The ring, Daddy, the ring!", Hajime hissed again.

"Okay, okay already!", Izumo hissed back.

I felt myself smiling even though I didn't remember when I'd begun smiling. Izumo sighed, pulled out a box, and opened it, looking at me.

"Hagane Kotetsu. Will you marry me?"

I grinned widely, even though my whole insides were tied together in a knot. "Idiot… Of course I will."

Izumo's face lit up; he stood up and leaned to kiss me…

Hajime jumped from behind the couch and between us, jumping up and down.

"YAY! When's the wedding!? Will one of you wear a dress?", he demanded.

"NO!", we said in unison, which made us laugh.

"Will there be candies?"

"Sure…"

"Can you have a rainbow-colored cake?"

"Yeah, whatever… Wait, NO!", Izumo turned greenish at the idea. I just laughed again. He looked back at me and leaned again, this time successfully kissing me.

"Eew, Dads!", Hajime protested.

"Didn't I tell you?", Izumo smiled. "When the other man, says 'yes', they kiss…"

And he leaned for another kiss, both of us ignoring Hajime's indignation for a minute…


	20. Chapter 20 Meet the Hagane-s

**A.N.** Again, I'd like to thank all the awesome ppl, who left me a review last time (this May... I learnt to be grateful. Dramatic pause for more effect ;)) It saddens me, but I know I have lost the connection with some of my dearest reviewers. And while I'll really miss certain snarky words (probably with French accent), some laid-back praises by certain lords, some reviews that were close to hysterical kawaii-ness by certain wolves... I am grateful that I had them till now. They have all helped me to get where now am. So, again, thank you to all who have reviewed and to those who will continue. Hope you'll enjoy...

Chapter 20 – Meet the Hagane-s

**Izumo POV**

"We should choose a date…"

"You choose."

"I'm not getting married to myself! _We_ should choose a date!"

"Okay, okay… May?"

"Sure. The end of April's nice too though…"

"APRIL! When the sakura trees bloom!"

Both of us looked at our best man, sitting between us and blinking innocently.

"Bedtime. Now", Kotetsu just said.

Hajime pouted. "I told Daddy to propose to you, you know…", he reminded meanly.

Kotetsu narrowed his eyes; he was smiling though, when he muttered lowly, "You sneaky, scheming, manipulative little…"

"Okay, okay, time to sleep now, best man…", I said, ushering our son to his bedroom. Hajime grinned.

"I am, right?! Awesome!", he said. I heard Kotetsu chuckling from the living room.

Hajime crawled under the blankets (with a Ben 10 theme print on them) and got ready for his usual bedtime story.

"Aaaah, let's see…. What should I read to you…?"

"Cinderella!"

I raised an eyebrow. He usually preferred more… manly fairy tales. And then something clicked in my head.

"Um… we established that none of us will wear a dress on the wedding, yeah?"

"Yeah", he nodded.

"There will be no Cinderella and no prince, yeah?"

"Yeah, Daddy?"

"…Okay. Just sayin'…"

Silence.

"Why 'Cinderella'?!", I burst out.

"I like the pumpkin car!", he explained, his eyes going big and shiny like a cartoon character's. "Do you think we can find such a huge pumpkin, carve it from the inside and make a car?"

I blinked stupidly once… and then just burst laughing.

* * *

Kotetsu watched some bloody action film again when I got back into the living room. He turned off the sound as I sat on his lap and smiled up to me.

"Our son wants a pumpkin car", I told him.

He raised his eyebrows, grinning. "Damn. Do you think we could find some plastic pumpkin car toy?"

"Ah, no, you didn't get that right. He wants a huge pumpkin, which we must carve from the inside and make a car", I grinned back.

We both laughed. He was still smiling when I bent down and whispered in his lips, "The baby sleeps now… and I think you should perform your… fiancée's..? duty…"

He growled, grabbed behind my neck and pulled me down, smashing our lips. His tongue slid inside my mouth and a moment later his hands cupped my ass, squeezing possessively. My hands were tugging at his T-shirt, trying to take it off; one of his hands slid up my back, under my own shirt. His other hand squeezed my left cheek again. I moaned quietly and thrust my hips, rubbing our awakening members.

"Ah, Zumo…", he moaned quietly.

It had been so long, so long….

The doorbell rang. I cursed silently, pulling back, making a move to stand up. He whined and pulled me back down.

"Ignore it…"

The doorbell rang again.

"They will wake up Hajime… took me ages to put him to sleep…", I muttered, standing up and walking briskly towards the door... royally pissed off and with a raging hard-on…

…which died immediately after I flung open the door and saw who stood there.

I blinked stupidly, half-panicking, trying to decide what I should do. Had they been any other people, had the circumstances been any more normal, I'd have invited them in already; had she been alone, I'd invite her too, especially after her last, and only, visit… But that guy…

"Babe? What is it?", Kotetsu's voice sounded nearer. And then he was standing behind me and I could just feel it… how his whole demeanor changed when he saw the people standing on our doorstep.

"What are you doing here?!", he growled.

"I should have called you first. I'm so stupid, I just…", his mother started apologizing.

"What is _he_ doing here!?", Kotetsu sounded more and more menacing.

"Kotetsu… your father apologized… in a way… It's his grandson we're talking about as well", his mother tried to reason with him.

"He will never come close to Hajime!", Kotetsu growled. "I can handle him in a battle… Izumo can handle him in a fight… but he will never touch Hajime!"

And it was all written on his face – when his father had 'apologized' (by doing nothing more than extending a hand and thanking us for taking care of his wife), Kotetsu had accepted it on a level that he wouldn't kill him immediately the next time he saw him; maybe he could even tolerate being in the same room with his father (mostly for his mother's sake) for about 15 minutes.

When Hajime was involved… all the memories, shallowly buried in his memory, came back; the way his own father had almost killed him only because he wasn't what said 'father' wanted him to be… only because he was different, because he was gay… His injuries… the state he'd been in… the slow rehabilitation, only to get away from his 'home', forever… Oh, he could indeed more than handle his father now; I could fight him off as well, like I'd proven the last time he'd visited us. He could do nothing to _us_ both… But Hajime…

It was only natural that with all his bad memories Kotetsu would see his father as a thread for our son, even though Hajime had done nothing to provoke such anger from his grandfather. In Kotetsu's eyes that didn't matter – Hajime was small, defenseless against potential attacks and would never be left unguarded around potential attackers.

And just then, as if on cue, the door to Hajime's room creaked. The sound of bare feet on the carpet reached us as a tiny figure walked in the hallway, rubbing his eyes.

"Daddy? I heard the doorbell…"

"Stay back, Hajime!", Kotetsu half-yelled, standing like a shield between Hajime and his father, looking fiercely at the later.

Kotetsu's mother gasped (they all gasped when they first saw Hajime) and covered her lips with her trembling hands. Her eyes were big and round from shock. Hajime blinked back at her.

"Who are these people, Daddy?", he asked me.

Great. Now what?

"Eer… well… those are your grandparents, Hajime."

"…I don't understand. I have Granny and Auntie Maria and Aunt Aiko."

"Yes… yes, but those are my relatives, Hajime. These guys here are your Dad's parents. Your other Granny and your… grandfather."

Hajime blinked sleepily again. "Did they come for the wedding?", he asked innocently.

"A _wedding_?", Kotetsu's father's eyes fixed on our hands and the rings. He pursed his lips… and made yet another stupid move – he stepped forward.

Kotetsu bent in attacking position, seconds away from bolting ahead and snapping his father's neck.

"Step. The fuck. Back", he hissed quietly. Menacingly. Meaning it.

His father, unexpectedly smartly, did what he was told and backed off.

"Hajime, go to your room", Kotetsu said.

"But I just…"

"Now!", Kotetsu's voice, louder now, left no space for arguments. Hajime quickly paddled back in his room.

"Now. You will go to a hotel. Mom, you can come see Hajime in the morning. We'd be happy if you join us for breakfast. _He _on the other hand will never come close to my son. Never", Kotetsu growled fiercely, looking menacingly at his father.

His mother hesitated for only a second, before she nodded and they both stepped back, leaving.

Kotetsu closed the door but didn't step back; he just stared at it blankly. I rubbed his arm, trying to reassure him. "I'll go check Hajime", I said quietly. He reached back and grabbed my hand, stopping me.

"I'll go… I have to apologize to him… for raising my voice and all… Kami, he probably thinks I'm mad at him now…"

"No, I'm sure he doesn't think that..."

"…What should I tell him? How should I explain…?"

I squeezed his hand. "Come on. We'll think something up…"

He followed me miserably and somewhat dejectedly to our son's room.

* * *

His mother called the next morning, politely asking when would be okay to come for breakfast. Kotetsu told her when Hajime would be up and returned to pacing in the living room – it was a Saturday, meaning no work for us and no kindergarten for Hajime.

"You'll make a hole in the carpet", I teased from the couch.

He spared me a thoughtful look, gnawing on his thumb.

"Well, you can calm me-…"

"Hajime will wake up any minute now and your mother will arrive in 15 minutes."

"…a quickie….?"

"You don't like quickies."

"Well, yes, but we are almost married and with a kid now. Long and slow sex is a luxury. I'll take whatever I can."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "Come here, you…"

He did, depositing himself on my lap, straddling me in a too sexy way to be considered 'needing comfort'. I raised an eyebrow. He gave me his best puppy look. I sighed and leaned up for a kiss.

The door to Hajime's room creaked open and his bare feet paddled on the carpet.

"Aw, come on, Daddy, you kissed him enough last night already!", he complained, climbing on the couch next to us. Kotetsu leaned his brow on mine, chuckling softly but not moving back. He looked at Hajime, still smiling.

"You should know that when people love each other, they kiss a lot. Do you understand?" Hajime nodded. "That's why we kiss. Are you okay with that now?"

Hajime heaved a huge sigh, rolling his eyes. "I guess. I still think it's gross. Adults are strange", he declared, sliding off from the couch and paddling in the kitchen. "Dad, cereal!", he commanded loudly. Kotetsu growled, standing up.

"Is he bossing me about or what?", he muttered, going to serve breakfast for our little monster of a son.

Usually, he would at least try to be more stern, making it clear who's the boss at home. But after last night, I guess he was just very grateful that Hajime had shown understanding when we'd gone back to his room, both of us stuttering weak explanations. If nothing else, Hajime wasn't mad at Kotetsu and knew Kotetsu hadn't been mad at him. He couldn't quite fathom (and we couldn't quite explain) why his Dad had reacted the way he had – we couldn't tell a 5-year-old that his father had tried to protect him from his own grandfather; nor could we explain why he needed to be protected in the first place.

I joined them in the kitchen just in time to hear Kotetsu saying, "Go get dressed if you don't want your Grandma to see you in your pajama."

Hajime grumbled but complied, reminding me a lot of his Dad. I smiled to Kotetsu and was just leaning for another kiss over the counter when the doorbell rang again. He sighed, muttering something about never getting some alone time anymore, and went to welcome his mother. After taking one deep calming breath myself, I joined him.

His mother smiled over a big cake with white chocolate frosting; she carried more bags in her arms and I wondered how she had managed it, tiny as she was. Kotetsu helped her immediately, taking the cake as I took the bags.

"Mom, you didn't have to…", he muttered as he placed the cake on the counter and I unpacked the groceries to reveal a bottle of fancy red wine, dark-chocolate bonbons for the fathers and car toy for the kid.

She chuckled, waving a hand, but then became serious. "I got the right flavor for the cake, right? He still likes white chocolate? Kids change their preferences so often, I remember when you were a kid, Tetsu, I'd just remembered your favorite meals and you'd change your mind in just a few days…"

Kotetsu flushed a little, smiling none the less and I laughed, reassuring her that she'd gotten the right cake.

Meanwhile Hajime finally dared to come out of his room and hesitantly step into the living room and then the kitchen, twisting the hem of his favorite hoodie. Kotetsu dropped everything and went to kneel in front of our son; even though Hajime had mostly gotten over his shyness in front of new people in general, he still had his issues when it came to family and first impressions. Knowing that perfectly well, Kotetsu smiled encouragingly to our son and began talking to him quietly.

"There's nothing to be scared or shy from, Hajime. That's just your other Grandma; my mother. She's not going to judge you. In fact I'm sure she's going to love you just the way you are." Hajime nodded hesitantly, not braking the eye contact with his Dad. Kotetsu smiled again. "You ready to say hi now?" Another nod. "Come on then…" Kotetsu took Hajime's tiny hand in his big one and calmly led him into the kitchen; Hajime followed him but kept his eyes down, not daring to look up at his Grandma yet.

"Now, this is Grandma Kumiko. Hajime, what should you say?"

Hajime's hold on Kotetsu's hand tightened a bit; he gulped dryly and finally looked up (causing another small gasp from his new Grandma). "Hello, it is nice to meet you. My name is Hagane-Kamizuki Hajime."

Kotetsu's mother gasped again and her hands quickly covered her lips. She looked up from her grandson to her own child; her eyes were wide with surprise and full of tears of happiness. Kotetsu couldn't hold back his very proud grin as he looked back at her.

"Look, buddy, Grandma brought a white chocolate cake, especially for you. What should you say now?"

"Thank you, Grandma."

"And in Spanish?", I interjected, deciding to brag a bit with something Maria had taught him just last week.

"Muchas Gracias, Abuela", Hajime recited.

She was positively crying now, trying to hold back the sobs. Hajime looked uncomfortable; he looked up at me and asked uncertainly, "Is she happy too?"

I grinned, nodding. "Yeah, buddy. You made her very happy…"

She suddenly kneeled and opened her arms for a hug. Hajime still looked hesitant but Kotetsu pushed him forward, very gently. Hajime took the few steps to his Grandma only to be grabbed in a tight hug. He stood frozen for a second or two, but then patted his Grandma's trembling shoulder awkwardly.

Kotetsu came to hug me from behind, sighing as he rested his chin on my shoulder. "That went well…", he muttered.

**A.N.** Hope you liked that :) If so, I'd be happy to read your review :)


	21. Chapter 21 New horizons

**A.N.** Here comes another emotional chapter. Hope you guys like it. Make sure to leave a review if you do ;)

Chapter 21 – New horizons

**Kotetsu POV**

"You've done a great job, both of you…", my mother said, a bit dreamily, as she watched her grandson feed the ducks in the pond. Both Izumo and I smiled, not taking our eyes off him. He made another step forward on the small pier, nearing the water; he looked seconds away from reaching out and trying to touch a duck. Both of us tensed, but Izumo bolted first.

"Hajime! Step back right now!", he yelled, already running in that direction. My mother giggled as she watched her soon-to-be son-in-law berating her grandson.

"You shouldn't have been so harsh with your father. He wouldn't have threatened Hajime in any way", she suddenly said. Surprised, I looked back at her. She sighed.

"Hajime will probably be his only grandson."

"But… Haruhiko…"

"You brother was wounded. The doctors said that it is not very likely that he'll ever father children of his own. And you and I both know he'd never consider adoption."

"I hadn't considered it either", I reminded.

She smiled kindly. "You and your brother are very different, Kotetsu. You have always known how to love, even if it was the wrong person, according to your father. I… as a mother I… sometimes I wonder if I have failed."

I opened my mouth to say something, defend her, but she lifted a hand, stopping me.

"I raised both my sons the same way. Kami knows I love you both equally. Yet here you are, having a partner, a child, a family…. Haruhiko has never… never even brought someone home. There are… only one-night-stands for him. And now that he has been wounded… he has become even more bitter. I fear he might never find someone. Might never even try to find someone… he just doesn't seem to want that. Not before, and even less now." She sighed and then looked at me. "Your brother refused to come with us and see you. I suppose you wouldn't be offended if I tell you his exact words as he said that you were as good as dead for him. And with the past… I guess it's the same for you…?"

I didn't answer. Mostly because she was right.

"But your father wanted to come."

My head shot up and I looked at her with disbelieve. She smiled sadly.

"Things change, Kotetsu. And sometimes, even people our age can change too. It is true he has sinned, badly. I will never try to underestimate his sins towards you and I assure you I have not forgotten it, the way you have not. I am not sure he has reflected on that and realized his mistakes, or if he actually feels sorry for them. But he is no fool. If nothing else, he realizes you would be the only one to continue the name, to have and raise a child, a son. You, his homosexual son he had expected nothing from."

There was a pause as I tried to assimilate this and she tried to give me the time to do it.

"I'm not asking you to forgive your father for his sins. I don't even expect that Hajime will come freely in our home and call him Grandpa. I'm just begging you to let him see Hajime – from time to time and with a supervisor, you or Izumo, or both. Whatever you choose." She smiled hesitantly. "I know it's a lot of information. You don't have to give me an answer right away. I just hope you'd consider it."

I shook my head.

"I can't believe he's changed. I can't."

My mother smiled in a calm, a bit reserved way.

"I did, Kotetsu. It was me who changed. I started seeing things, understanding them. Your father is a simple man. You could even say that his way of thinking is pretty much Neanderthal. He values strength, that's why he was respected by Izumo's power back then. That is the only thing that made him accept you, as an item, on _some_ level. Like… he still resents homosexuals, mainly because he sees them _all_ as weak, girly and whiny primadonas; but you're an ANBU and your man is a cop with a strong grip, so you two, in particular, are okay." She smiled grimly and shook her head to show her opinion of such way of thinking; then her smile warmed a little. "It's the same between us, him and I. After that course, my visit here and the observations I just told you about I just did what I had to do years ago and what no Suna woman is ever taught – I found my pride. Understood how much I was worth. And stood up for my rights." She gave me a small, private smile; one that seemed designed just for me. I smiled back, proud of her. She continued her story, her smile earning just an undertone of cruelty. "Oh, sure in the beginning he thought he could hit the table with a fist and yell another command. Then I did actually move out." She snorted. "No more cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, ironing… They survived three weeks, you father and your brother. I was impressed." We both chuckled, then she shrugged. "He came asking me to come back home again. I told him my conditions, which were mainly to be treated as a person; and having just felt what it was like without me around, he agreed." She smiled that private smile again. "Look, Kotetsu… I don't know if your father and I could ever talk about love between us. To be fair, I sometimes wonder if it has ever been there for us, real love, the kind you have with Izumo – one despite the obstacles, one worth fighting for. But… I'm comfortable right now. This way. I'm content. And that's enough for me." She smiled again. "And now that I have a grandson, I am not just content, but really happy!"

I grinned. "_You_ can come visit him anytime you want, Mom. I… don't know about father… but I'll think about it. Izumo and I will discuss it."

She smiled gratefully, taking my hand in her smaller one and squeezing gently. Suddenly remembering something Hajime had said, I looked away, unable to see her eyes when I added,

"You can also… I mean… I'd be happy if you… Izumo and I will both be glad if you come to the wedding."

Finally daring to look up I saw there were new tears gathered in her eyes. She brushed them off quickly, smiling again. "Of course I will come. Have you set a date already?"

I sighed. "No. Izumo's been nagging me about it and Hajime wants to match it with the sakura mankai…" She laughed and I joined her. "I'll keep you in touch", I promised.

"You do that", she nodded just as Hajime and Izumo joined us. She clapped her hands. "Now! Who will show me some place I could buy souvenirs from? I've promised my colleagues some small presents…"

"There's a shop like that just over there, very near to this park. I can show you", Izumo offered.

My Mom happily accepted, kneeling for a last kiss on Hajime's brow and a promise to see us later. She and Izumo went to look for the souvenir shop and Hajime and I decided on a walk around the park.

We were just standing in front of a small stall, selling balloons, when I saw someone I knew.

Anko sat alone on a bench a few meters away from us; she was holding some medical documents in her hands and secretly brushed the tears from her eyes.

My stomach clenched.

"What would you like, sir?", she man selling the balloons asked.

"Eeer… yeah… that one, with the superheroes, and one red balloon."

I paid the balloons and kneeled down in front of Hajime.

"Listen, buddy… I need you to do me a favor, okay?"

* * *

**Anko POV**

_"Nothing seems to be wrong, Mitarashi san. Maybe you just need some more time…"_

HOW MUCH MORE TIME!? We've been trying for months! Months! Kami sama, I want this so much… Am I… not worthy of a child…?

_"Maybe it's the stress…it's normal with your job…"_

Hell, maybe I'd just quit. I would, if this job didn't keep me sane, distracted from yet another failed try…

"Hello."

I looked up. There was a small boy standing in front of me. He had blond hair and the most impossible multicolored eyes. He was dressed well, his cheeks were a bit pink and he had that distinct look of a child, who is obviously well taken care of; loved. He held a red balloon, which he gave me now.

"This is for you."

I took the gift hesitantly, looking around to see a worried parent, searching for their child.

"Where did you…", I started.

"Dad says that sometimes good things happen to people in the most unexpected way. Like I happened to him and Daddy."

"…you have… two fathers?"

"Yep."

"How about… a mom…?"

"Nope, I don't have one. Why, do you think everyone must have a mom?"

"Eeer… no, I just… the stork usually…"

"Lady, storks don't bring babies."

I blushed a bit, even as I smiled. "They don't?"

"No. Parents choose their kids."

"They… choose…?"

"Yeah. From a big house where kids with no moms and dads are kept."

I frowned a bit. "What's… your name again?"

"My name is Hagane-Kamizuki Hajime. It is nice to meet you", he recited.

My eyes widened a bit. Hajime. _That_ Hajime. Kotetsu's kid.

I looked up, just in time to see him walking in our direction, smiling a bit shyly; he was holding another balloon with a picture of some superhero on it. He waved hesitantly.

"Hey", he said.

"Hey", I said back weakly.

"Dad, can I go play in the sandbox?", Hajime asked.

"As long as I can see you from here", Kotetsu permitted. Hajime ran off and Kotetsu sat down next to me.

"Tsume told you", I observed. He didn't try to lie.

"I was worried, so I asked her. She threatened to kill me if I tell anyone else. I'm still alive, so…"

I smiled weakly, then frowned again. "They say there's no medical problem."

"I know…"

"I want a baby, Kotetsu."

"I know."

"Don't I deserve one? Because I've killed or…", I had to shut up or I'd just burst crying. He put a hesitant hand on my shoulder.

"I've killed too. This is what we do. It's our job. … Everyone deserves a child, Anko."

This is when I finally couldn't hold back anymore and started crying for real. He hugged me awkwardly, rubbing my arm gently, patiently waiting for me to calm down.

It took some time but I finally managed to control myself.

"…Adoption, huh?", I rasped.

He nodded. "I know it's sudden, when you haven't ever considered it. Take your time. Think about it. Go visit the orphanage, the kids. The director is a great woman. You can just talk to her. Or not."

I snorted, standing up.

"Thanks for the balloon…", I said, walking away.

* * *

**Kotetsu POV**

I watched her walking away, holding the balloon. She walked confidently. Like the proud woman she had every right to feel like.

I sighed, hoping she would at least consider it, adoption. If nothing else I knew from experience how much it could change your whole life… for the best…

Izumo suddenly sat down next to me. I looked up.

"Where's Mom?", I asked.

"She said she wanted to drop the gifts at the hotel and will call us for a dinner later."

"Mm…", I nodded.

He suddenly grabbed my head and kissed me passionately. I tensed, pulling back.

"Zumo… it's a park, there are kids…"

"I'm very proud with you."

I looked up, confused. Then I saw his eyes and knew that he'd seen the scene with Anko.

"It's… nothing… you do so much more, for so many people, every day*…"

He put a finger under my chin, making me look at him again. His eyes shined with many emotions. Love and pride were the main ones. "_Very_ proud with you…", he repeated.

Hajime ran up to us. "I'm hungry", he declared; he frowned a bit, confused from the tension. "Dads?"

"Yeah… food… must eat now…", I stood up quickly.

I heard Izumo chuckling behind me.

**A.N.** *- Kotetsu means Izumo's adoption campaign, including the FB page.


	22. Chapter 22 Some last minute freaking out

**A.N.** Sory for the long wait guys! I've been busy, crazy and seriously lacking some muse (so if a certain wolf desides to act as the muse again, she is welcome! :P) Once again, sorry. And enjoy! :)

Chapter 22 – Some last minute freaking out

**Kotetsu POV**

"Did you send your Mom an invitation?"

"Yeah."

"You took your kimono from the tailor?"

"Yes."

"Hajime's kimono?"

"Yes."

"The cake?"

"No rainbows."

"The…"

"Baby… it's a small wedding with a few close friends. Stop freaking out."

"I know, I know, but…"

"But?"

"…Ihaven'tbeenmarriedbefore", he muttered.

I chuckled. "And thank Kami for that." I grabbed him in a hug, making him stumble and fall in my lap as we landed on the couch. I leaned closer and whispered in his lips, "I wasn't your first man, but I better be your last, lover boy."

He gulped dryly, looking down to hide his blushing face. "Stop talking like that…"

I chuckled evilly. "Do I make you nervous?"

He hit my chest half-heartedly. "Stop it…"

"I love seeing your blushing face…"

"S..stop.."

"I love _making_ you blush."

He fidgeted, causing our awakening members to grind, making us both moan.

"We haven't done this for so long that I feel like I'm marrying my virgin wife, waiting for the wedding night…", I groaned.

"Well… I'm hardly a virgin, but I've plans for our wedding night. Big plans", he smirked in my lips.

Just like that, the roles were reversed and I felt heat rising on my cheeks. He chuckled, whispering hotly in my ear, "Do I make you nervous?"

The door to the bathroom opened; Izumo bolted from my lap and sat modestly on the couch next to me. Hajime, wrapped in his over-sized bath robe and steaming from his shower, threw us a suspicious look. A few seconds passed.

"Adults are weird", our son declared, paddling into his room.

* * *

**Izumo POV**

_"I think your hair must be tied up if his will be like that…"_

"Mom, can we discuss this later…?"

_"And the flowers…"_

"What flowers, we are both men!"

_"So? There should be no aesthetic touch, because you are both men?"_

"Mom…"

"Daddy, where is Dad?"

"He'll be right back, buddy, right back…"

"Daddy, my throat hurts…"

"Daddy is cooking your favorite soup, buddy."

_"Oooh, did you put dill?"_

"Yes, _Mother_, I did…!"

"Daddy, the doorbell!"

"If your Dad has forgotten his keys again, I swear…!"

"Daddy, it doesn't stop!"

I flung the door open with a flourish. The woman standing there blinked.

"Oh, f-…, I mean, hello, come in!", I stammered.

But of course the social worker will choose to come in such a hectic moment when I'm cooking and on the phone talking to my Mom, Hajime is sick and whining and Kotetsu has gone to the market! Honestly, she always seemed to choose such moments – either she'd come when Hajime has just gone in the bathroom for a shower, or when he's just back from the kindergarten and tired, or when he has the flu or in the very rare moments when Kotetsu and I manage to steal a kiss or, Kami forbid, a grope. I secretly wondered if Suzume hadn't chosen this woman to torment us in her place.

_"Izumo?",_ my Mom asked on the phone, right when my mobile started ringing as well (with Kotetsu's tune). I sighed, on the verge of a frustrated cry.

"Mom, let me call you again later, okay? Bye. Yeah, babe?", I answered my cell.

_"Ohayashi isn't picking her mobile, what medicine was Hajime allergic to?"_

"That was an antibiotic, he just has a sore throat now, just pick up something lighter for a cold."

_"Uh, okay. Hey, do you want me to buy some lube while I'm at the pharmacy?"_

I blushed; deep red, I'm sure. "I-I've taken care…"

_"How about that herbal ointment that helped with soreness…?"_

I choked. "Now is NOT the right moment, Kotetsu!"

_"Oh, Kami, he's in the room, isn't he?"_

I closed my eyes, clenching my jaw. "Yes", I said, not going into details.

_"Uh, sorry, babe! I'll be right back!"_

I hung up, sighing. "Sorry for that. Would you like some coffee? Tea?", I asked the social worker.

She smiled kindly. If nothing else, she was nowhere near as cold as Suzume. "Tea would be nice, thank you."

"Granny Tsukimi raises the herbs for our tea by herself!", Hajime told her, very proud.

"Grows", I corrected him, smiling. "She grows the herbs by herself."

"Yes", he agreed absentmindedly, making Shizune, the social worker, laugh. I rolled my eyes, preparing the tea.

"Do you like your Granny Tsukimi, Hajime?", she asked. Unlike Suzume, she didn't take notes. She observed and listened.

"Yeah! She makes pancakes for me and Kei-chan!"

"Kei-chan?", Shizune asked delicately.

"My…", Hajime paused, searching for the right term.

"Cousin", I hinted.

"My cousin! She is nice." Hajime nodded. "Grandma Kumiko is nice too! She came to see me and cried from happiness too. She will come again for the wedding. She bought me a white cake. But Daddy says I can't eat it in just one day, so he gives me a piece after lunch and another after dinner, but only if they are small ones, because we must be careful with the sugar", Hajime explained solemnly. Shizune laughed again, throwing me a sidelong glance.

"Well, your Daddy is right. And he only wants the best for you."

"Yeah", Hajime drawled. "Dad is like that too."

She nodded, smiling widely. "I'm sure he is."

"He took me to a tailerman…"

"Tailor", I corrected again while Shizune laughed.

"…to make me a kimono for the wedding. I'm the best man! My kimono is just like theirs, but smaller. Dad and Daddy will marry next week. I told Daddy to propose to Dad and he did and Dad was very happy and since then they kiss a lot…"

"Hajime…!", I warned from the kitchen, but Shizune just kept laughing.

The doorbell rang again. I sighed.

"Aaand that's your Dad, who's forgotten his keys again…", I muttered, going to open the door. Kotetsu walked in, kissing me without even looking around for Hajime (or anyone else) and giving me a paper bag.

"The man at the pharmacy said this was perfect for 5-year-olds, light, with minor side effects and working quickly…"

"Yeah, fine, good…"

"It has bitter taste though, so I bought him a chocolate bar. It's tiny, look, it won't ruin his appetite, right?"

"CHOCOLATE!"

"Now you've done it…"

Kotetsu smiled, trying for 'guiltily', but in fact he seemed too content for that. Hajime was already in his arms when he turned around and saw Shizune.

"Oh. Hello."

"Hello, Hagane san" she smiled, standing up. "Sadly, just after saying hello, I'll have to bid you a goodbye. Now, if you just sign here…"

We both blinked, sharing a surprised look. "But weren't there supposed to be at least four more visits?"

"_…or until the social worker is convinced that the child is well taken care of and happy"_, she recited. "I am convinced that you are great parents and he's happy and well taken care of", she winked.

Still dazed, we signed the papers and waved a goodbye to the social worker we wouldn't have to see ever again.

"This means I'm your kid now, officially!", Hajime explained. Kotetsu laughed, spinning him around in the living room while he squealed happily. I watched as Kotetsu gently put him on the floor and ruffled his hair; I smiled to them both.

"So… who wants some cake?"

"But I thought I wasn't allowed to if it's not after lunch or dinner…", Hajime drawled.

"Today, you're allowed. Today is special", I smiled. Kotetsu caught my eyes and grinned; he waited till Hajime paddled into the kitchen and kissed me passionately – a stolen moment of intimacy and his only way to remind me that he loved me.

"Dads?", Hajime asked from the kitchen. "Are you kissing _again_?"

We laughed, still locked in the kiss, before we parted and hurried to tame our son's indignation with some cake.

* * *

It was a Tuesday but both Kotetsu and I had taken the week before the wedding off, to prepare for the "small ceremony with a few close friends", the preparations for which almost drove me crazy. Kotetsu had gone out an hour ago, visiting the vet with Jash; he'd taken Hajime with him to give me some space at home.

I had just begun cutting some vegetables for lunch when the front door opened and closed; Jash walked in, looking somewhat guilty and I could hear Kotetsu's quiet soothing voice… and a sniffle. I dropped the knife, now alarmed, and went to check what was going on.

Kotetsu was holding Hajime in his arms, rocking him a bit as Hajime wept quietly, angrily brushing off his tears.

"What happened?!", I asked.

"I will never again bring Hajime along with me and Jash to the vet!", Kotetsu swore. Hajime hiccupped at that, making Kotetsu hastily add, "Not that you did anything wrong! Oh, Hajime, Dad didn't mean that! You're such a good child…"

"What. Happened?", I grit out. Kotetsu sighed.

"Nothing happened. Jash is a huge scaredy-cat, that's all…"

I glared. Kotetsu sighed again and explained.

"He whined rather loudly when he got his vaccine."

"…And?"

"And our son is a very sensitive and compassionate child", Kotetsu smiled lopsidedly, looking rather proudly at Hajime, who was still rubbing his puffy eyes. "He jumped to Jash's rescue, trying to shoo off the vet, yelling 'Don't hurt him, don't hurt him!' and hugging and consoling the whiny furball." Another sigh. "Took me ages to _console Hajime_ and explain that the vet wasn't trying to hurt Jash, but help him, right, buddy?"

Hajime nodded miserably. I smiled, totally understanding Kotetsu's pride about having such a good, compassionate child. I reached out to caress Hajime's blond head.

"You got scared for Jash, buddy?" He nodded hesitantly. "That's because you love him, Hajime. And Kotetsu and I are very proud to have a child who knows how to love."

Hajime spared me a suspicious glance but obviously decided that I wasn't lying to him because he nodded again, still somewhat shyly. It only took his favorite vegetable stew and the last piece of the cake to make him forget about his tears and fears and happily wolf down everything I'd served on the table.

Underneath said table, Kotetsu's hand found mine and he linked our fingers, his thumb gently stroking mine and silently conveying the emotions he felt just as strongly as I did – love, gratefulness and happiness.


End file.
